Waiting – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
Today’s photo is by Shaktiki Sharma, and leaves me as baffled as ever.
Well, it is at least relaxing, I don’t have to think, just write.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.

© Shaktiki Sharma

© Shaktiki Sharma

Click here to hear me read the story:
Waiting

So tired
It’s probably the excitement.
I have waited since school for this.
Loved you all these years.
While you wasted your life chasing after him.
When you told me he had dumped you for the last time, that you were finally over him, I was so happy.
tired of waiting…
You were already late when I saw his car, about two hours ago.
Couldn’t see the passenger, she was curled under his arrogant arm.
A song keeps playing in my head.
By Ray Davies, The Kinks.
tired of waiting for you…
Her hair was the same colour as yours.

Footnote:
This is the song, by the vastly underrated Ray Davies, one of the great singer/songwriters of the 1960s:

 

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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76 Responses to Waiting – Friday Fictioneers

  1. i feel his pain. I didn’t click on the youtube link but the song is playing in my head, still.

    Like

  2. Lori Carlson says:

    I feel like I’ve lived this story once or twice. Enjoyed The Kinks as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. CE, the sad dejectedness of the narrator is palpable. I should have left well enough alone, and not read the Sandra comment… alas, tiger, stripes, and all. 😉 Happy New Year!

    Like

  4. mandibelle16 says:

    Interesting piece. Was he doing away with this girl he’s in love with, ex-boyfriend and his new girl; or was he telling himself he didn’t recognize the girl when he knew it was the girl he loved. I guess he didn’t love her enough or was driven past the point of no return by his jealousy. Happy New Year CE. Hugs!

    Like

  5. elmowrites says:

    Aw, tough stuff here, CE, I felt for your character (although less after reading your reply to Sandra!). I’m glad you left them alive; felt so much stronger for his helplessness

    Like

  6. LOL … I love your response to Sandra’s comment. I was thinking the very same thoughts.
    But, it’s the holidays. A time to be gentle and all that. NOT … my story is about murder. LOL
    I don’t care for waiting. I’m a timely person. I would have been too frustrated to wait for him/ her or anyone. I’ve enjoyed your sultry accent once again. I’m so pleased you’ve continued to add the reading.
    Hope your 2017 is filled with wonderful things such as peace, good health and LOVE…
    Happy New Year 🎉 Cheers 🍷
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  7. Should I dread what has happened to her? This sounds like a crime story to me, about a girl who fell under a psychopath’s spell and then… well, let’s just say that psychopaths do not respond well to being dumped. A great story that could be interpreted so many ways.
    By the way, I love The Kinks and saw them in concert when I was a teenager!

    Like

  8. “Girl, you really got me goin’, you got me so I don’t know what I’m doin'” he said as he wandered off into the Waterloo sunset.

    My tale is called ‘Oh Bother!’

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  9. liz young says:

    Waiting – the most dreadful way to spend ones time – and I shall have that song in my head all day, despite not having clivked on your video!

    Like

  10. draliman says:

    Time to move on. Or kill them both (I see from the comments!) and then move on.

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  11. His denial was palpable. I hope he’s finally done with her as opposed to finally disposed of her.
    Tracey

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  12. plaridel says:

    according to henry miller, the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature. he should heed his advice. .

    Like

  13. mjlstories says:

    Sad and lovely music. What’s going on?

    Like

  14. Dale says:

    What? YOU have added the link for a video? 😀
    I’m kinda glad he didn’t off them. And it is so sad that he wasted all that time on someone not worthy…

    Like

  15. Michael Wynn says:

    Great take, particularly as this is one on my favourite Kinks songs too. In fact one of my previous 100 words was titled Tired of Waiting.

    Like

  16. The Kinks – a great band. Your story reminds me of crazy “stalking” things when I heard my boyfriend was stepping out with someone else. Thank goodness times got better.

    Like

  17. michael1148humphris says:

    Thanks for the memories, and the warning.

    Like

  18. Wow you can really hear the tone of this piece as it is read. So sad.

    Like

  19. Poor bloke! The despondency is vivid. Love the follow up in reply to Sandra too!

    Like

  20. This could work as a part one to many of your slash and murder stories from the past… But I’m fine with not knowing what the narrator’s next step might be.

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  21. Lynn Love says:

    Love the longing here, C, the yearning so strong and him still holding on for her. Very strong emotionally.
    Adore the Kinks and as writers, they’re a special band – the lyrics are just superb. Days always makes me sad in a good way and who doesn’t love Sunny Afternoon? – My girlfriend’s run off with my car, gone back to ther Ma and Pa, telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty. Genius.
    Hope you had a great Christmas – Bonne Annee

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      Thanks, Lynn, I am happy that you got so much out of my 100 words.
      And yes, Ray Davies is an exceptional talent, and I always felt the girlfriend was just a tad picky!
      Bonne année a toi, et ta famille

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lynn Love says:

        Great story – a little tragedy.
        As far as Sunny Afternoon goes, I think women have put up with more for less reward, though the protagonist is clearly a lot less attractive when he loses his money – funny how that happens 🙂
        Thank you. May 2017 be kind to us all

        Like

  22. Rowena says:

    Thanks so much for this post…the story, the song and being able to hear your voice. I really loved and related to your story. Most of us have some unfinished business from the past and I know when Facebook came out, a number of people got back in touch with all sorts from the past. A friend of mine rekindled an old flame as they were both single. Being married myself, I didn’t go there and there are people I’ve left alone. Sometimes you can move forward as friends and other times, it’s not possible. It would be a good story to pursue further.
    xx Rowena

    Like

  23. My favorite Kinks song. Just out of curiosity, is her name LOLA? Nicely done. Good to read a piece from you that doesn’t wind up with somebody getting killed 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Dear C.E.

    I had to listen to the whole song before commenting. Loved the Kinks. I am a bit surprised that the narrator hasn’t offed the two of them in the car. Lots of longing in this story. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  25. wmqcolby says:

    So tired. Sometimes I thought I was wasting my time waiting for some girl to “get wise” to the guy she was hooked up with. I was, actually. Lessons learned.
    You have me hooked on listening. That voice of yours is great, CE. Like I said, it’s a treat in America to hear a good Scottish accent. I was probably all of three or four when The Kinks’ You Really Got Me was heard on the radio. They’re a classic group here in the States, too, you know.

    Five out of five Come Dancin’s (my age group’s music) 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Anja says:

    Clever story inspired by the photo. I’m happy you included a song. 🙂

    Like

  27. The sadness and frustration comes through so strongly in this piece! I really felt the pain of the narrator. Well done!

    Like

  28. neilmacdon says:

    I heard Ray Davies in my head as I read

    Like

  29. Sandra says:

    I’m amazed your character didn’t immediately despatch them both to the after-life, or are you turning over a new leaf? I was happy to revisit Ray Davies and the Kinks; my favourite was Waterloo Sunset.

    Like

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