Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s melodic masterpiece is by Jan, her other half, or perhaps, given her diminutive stature, three quarters.
It set me dancing under the stars.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
© Jan W. Fields
Night Noise
Every night has its own sounds.
Internal noises, the creak of the water pipes, the groan of the heating system.
Sometimes the drip of a tap, difficult to ignore.
And the external distractions common to apartment blocks everywhere.
The click of heels in a corridor, the music of a long-dead jazz pianist, doors being closed too loudly.
Through the shutters comes the wail of a cat.
A motorbike engine sixty metres away drowns out the wind, now rustling silently through the pines.
Normally none of this has anything to do with me.
But tonight, I realise with horror, something does.
Utterly creepy! I really loved the way in which you built up the sounds (and I’ve paid attention to sounds my whole life, so this really reeled me in) to a fever pitch, and did it all in this tight, controlled fashion.
I really want to know…that is
Oh i really which one of those noises launches the rest of the story.
Oh, well done CE. I like the way you set out a string of ordinary occurrences , then build them up into something really scary.
Very intriguing indeed. You have ignited my imagination, and that last line too leaves much to ponder on.
Brrrr! Get out of there while you can. Great atmosphere and an intriguing ending.
But what is waiting outside, Margaret?
Frying pan and fire situation.
Head under the pillow, I think!
oh dear! Now I wonder which could be the one? Hopefully it is simply the wailing cat..let him and feed him, already!
Ever practical, Samantha, and with good advice.
But perhaps not…
ooh-err! Creepy…..I was woken by a creaking noise the other night, and realised it was my aging bones!
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
Pretty sure that isn’t what I heard, we are probably miles apart.
Wonderful imagery, yet a creepy ending that makes me wonder what happened.
Jings, you have me wondering now too!
Oh boy, I’m afraid you’re dead! Great building of suspense from what I though was going to be about your calling the landlord for better soundproofing to what I fear is visit from the Grim Dude. Great story.
Sounds likely, Perry, or it might just be that second helping of cheese.
Fabulous little story – very atmospheric!
Fabulous little comment – very charming!
Wow! And what happens next? Don’t tell me.
Okay.
Trouble has come knocking on his doors.
very intriguing piece.
I will take intriguing as good.
Thank you.
Wow – Fabulously creepy! Well done.
Cool comment, thank you!
an increasing sense of awareness. something’s about to happen i just couldn’t figure out what.
In the darkness, that is always the question, is it not?
“The click of heels in a corridor, the music of a long-dead jazz pianist, doors being closed too loudly.” This line is ominous…..I’m shuddering by the end! You started with a mundane description and the deeper we go, the deeper we get into the macabre, the possibility of the dark side! Well done!
I am all smiles here, Lillian, I love the way you build your comment!
Thank you.
My imagination just went into to overdrive!
Oh no, Dawn, your imagination in overdrive is scarier than anything I can write!
You been inside my head?
It is scary in there 😉
A really great, atmospheric write. I felt like I was hanging on by my fingertips at the end, desperate to know what happened next.
Thank you so much, Carol, I am happy to have communicated so successfully a thing we all feel and fear.
I wonder what he hears that has to do with him. Nice write.
And is it real or inside his head?
Either way, the terror is real.
Wonderful scene and mood setting.
Thank you, Caerlynn, happy you enjoyed.
Beautiful beginning. Slowly we get accustomed to these sounds. The last line makes me read more of this.
I am glad you liked this, Indira.
We all lie awake and wonder sometimes, I think.
Something wicked this way comes. Like Bjorn said, made my spine tingle just a little.
A little tingle makes me happy, Alicia.
Thank you.
This makes me shudder. I like all of your stories, but this is one of my favs. It’s the unspoken that brings the horror.
The fear of the unknown lies deep within us all.
This was fabulous, CE! I love how you created the atmosphere that brought me back to my first apartment. All those strange, new sounds, so different from the ones I had left behind at my parent’s… And, now that my situation in my home has changed, I hear sounds I never did before…
Each place has its own history and its own present.
As for the future, I can’t say.
Dare I comment that I am unsurprised at the different sounds in your first apartment?
Truth!
Hah! I was on my own for the first time…
I need a checklist!
Graham will have one, he is rather pedantic, don’t you think?
Yes indeed!
Oh this is just amazing.. has to be one of my favorites from you… Love where you took it.. and that last sentence just made something crawl along my spine…
Thank you, Bjorn, I very much appreciate that from you.
Spine-crawling is good!
Who is coming for you? Pretty intense and i like it.
My imagination?
Something dark and evil?
I’ll let you kn…
So atmospheric. Really enjoyed it.
Cool, thank you.
Monsters just came out from under the bed…. tailor-made to the reader’s phantasm. Brrrr.
I really enjoy the build up to the last line.
Comme d’hab, n’est ce pas?
Oui, comme d’hab.
Mais les monstres ne sont pas sous le lit.
Ils se cachent dans l’armoire.
The best horrors are those unspoken horrors that the mind can conjure up. You know this only too well. Well done.
Sadly, Sandra, you are right.
Our own minds know best what terrifies us.
Dear CE,
If I heard those house noises every night I’d be looking for another place to live. Ominous ending. I just pulled my covers over my head.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Don’t all dwellings have their own unique sounds?
Ominous is good.
And covers do not keep the monsters away.
If you are the nervous type, please don’t read the previous sentence.
And now I want to read more about this one night!
Oh no you don’t!