Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
My travels are over for now, so I intend to visit most of your stories this week.
I took this photo in Nice, Côte d’Azur, not too long ago.
It is what I saw, not staged in any way.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
Copyright C. E. Ayr
The Shoe
Stupid woman.
She is young, barely in her twenties, I’d say.
And very pretty.
Far too pretty to be walking in a place like this by herself.
It is late, the streets are deserted.
I throw her into the van.
She screams, pounds the sides.
I don’t care, it is soundproof.
We reach my garage in minutes.
The shutters rumble down.
I click on the lights, open the doors.
She hurls a shoe, attacks me.
I break her neck, drop her on the floor.
Then I pick up the shoe.
Caress it.
Smell it.
This is what it’s all about.
Oh, creepy!! The smells are always that stay with people. I guess that goes for crazy, psychopaths too. Well done. Thanks for the photo this week!
Creepy, well done and thanks.
This is one great comment, Amy!
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The stuff of my nightmares. Why I carry mace! Great story.
I understand.
And thank you.
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Good take! Creepy!
I like creepy!
Thank you.
the ending was a winner. i didn’t expect it. 🙂
Glad you liked, Plaridel.
Wow! This is one scarey tale. The fear is there — in your words — and the suspense. I feel like there should be some music to this….the kind you hear in the background of movies. Very well done.
And I would be remiss to comment on the photo. My mind went to such a different place with this photo. Interesting, isn’t it? To see all the different “connections,” “mind leaps,” that people take from the same photo.
Years ago, when the Holocaust Museum had just opened in Washington DC, my husband and I toured it. We sat on a bench at the end…before exiting. In a place where people could write their comments, where everyone who came in, exited. And a woman came walking by, toward the exit, with an elderly man simply overcome with tears and she had her arm around him saying, “it’s okay papa.” That scene came to mind and hence my story. One of so many from your photo!
Thank you, Lillian, for your long and thoughtful comments.
Interestingly, or otherwise, I had the theme for Jaws playing in my head as the van enters the garage.
I was in Nice, maybe 8.30 – 9.00 a.m., walking along a side street connecting two more major roads when I saw the shoe.
It was just lying there exactly as in the photo.
About a hundred stories fought for space in my addled old brain as I fumbled out my phone and took the snap.
I wrote one at the time which I really like, but which is way too long for this challenge.
It is, as you say, always fascinating to see where a single pic takes different minds.
I am heading your way now.
Cheers
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Hopefully, he found a little toe jam between her piggies too. If he keeps this up, he’ll be able to open his own shoe store with very little overhead. Now, what to do with the body?
Egads, sir, are you mad?
One does not sell off one’s trophies.
One does perhaps bung the body down that handily situated drain.
Gosh! Couldn’t he just have stolen the shoe and smelt it or chloroformed her and smelt it? Great writing! Especially loved the poetry form used to tell a thriller / horror story. Poetry and crime make unusual bedfellows.
Now where would be the fun in that?
I like that you see it as poetry.
That is not my intention, although the short lines do give it that appearance.
Thank you for your thoughts, much appreciated.
Getting into the mind of the killer is always scary. And the shoe fetisch creeps me out. Great writing.
‘Scary’ and ‘creeps me out’!
I am all smiles here, thank you, my dear GaH.
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Very dark on so many levels. I like (if that’s the right word!) his attitude towards her at the beginning, blaming her for what is about to happen. Very good!
I am happy that much of it appealed to you, sir, and I understand your ambivalence about ‘like’.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
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Loved the writing. You got me in despite your character being such an unlikeable psychopath. I am really starting to get a liking for reading prose poetry. In the right hands it can tell a story so well.
p.s. Thank you for the photo.
Hmm, his personal charm escaped you, did it, Irene?
I like that you consider my writing prose poetry.
As I have said elsewhere this week, the style I use is designed to create urgency and pace, to keep the eyes moving faster than the brain can think.
Until the denouement.
I am very happy that you are beginning to enjoy it.
I accept that it is not to everyone’s taste.
Yes I just read a prose poetry novel Finding the Place by Margaret Collett and I was staggered that I couldn’t put it down. I went to a talk by another novelist years ago whose biggest market for her books were truckies. It too was prose poetry and because of that I gave it a miss. Kind of wish I hadn’t now as I think for the reasons you mention above, I would have liked it but of course I can’t remember her name now.
I wonder how I get my book in front of the truck driving fraternity?
I think she did it as an audio book, then maybe advertise in trucking magazines?
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It is hard to like this story about this sociopath and I hate that women seem to be the ones victimized all the time. Story was believable, unfortunately. Jeffrey Dahmer killed men, which I think may be unusual.
I understand your reluctance to like this, Deborah.
I think all thinking people hate that women are too often the victims.
I’m never wearing shoes again! Scary story . Brilliantly told.
Bit of an overreaction there, Ansumani!
Thank you for your kind words.
I’m still planning on wearing slippers ,sling-backs,pumps, boots , sneakers, stilettos, …. 🙂
Very disturbing! Especially, the killing with shoe fetish.
‘Disturbing’ is music to my ears, Mandibelle.
Well THAT was creepy!
Yeah, wasn’t it!
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Thank you for the photo prompt.
T
Glad you liked it.
I suspect that your (lack of) comment tells me what you thought of my story.
Thanks for your visit, and your time.
I have a shoe-loving serial killer phobia. Doesn’t mean I don’t love ya. 😎
I guess we all have our little foibles, hmm.
And thank you.
I like the matter of fact nature of this piece, it all happens as if its a daily event.
Chap needs a hobby, Sir ST2.
And good to see you here again.
Usually I’m envious of your imagination, but today I’m not so sure. I don’t sleep too well as it is.
I did like the story though.
If only this type of thing just happened in fiction. In case you’re not aware of James Lloyd, the Rotherham Shoe Rapist, I’ve included a link. In a twist crazier than fiction, the Court of Appeal went on to halve the minimum term given to this sick ——- by the original sentencing judge.
http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2006/sep/04/ukcrime1
I am sorry if I disturb your sleep, JS, but glad you liked the story.
I am happy to say I was previously unaware of Mr Lloyd, or his activities.
I wish I still was.
No need to apologise, it’s not your stories that keep me awake. Even though I’m a dull and simple lad, I find plenty of things to spin round in my head and keep sleep at bay. What I meant was that, if I did have your imagination, I might as well give up on sleep altogether.
It’s my turn to be sorry for letting you know about Lloyd – there’s a trigger for nightmares.
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I think you manage to portray the stuff nightmares are made of.. the caressing of the shoe made it all the more repulsive. I think it will be a tight bet who has managed to capture the worst mind this week.
Thanks, Bjorn, I do try to be cheerful!
Sometimes it doesn’t quite work out…
Very scary story. All about the shoe. I like the short sentences that emphacize the action.
Scary is good!
As I say elsewhere, I use the short lines to try to create a feeling of urgency and anticipation.
I like the brevity of each line and the pace of the story. It’s all about the shoe ! Thanks for the great prompt. So many possibilities.
Thank you for such fulsome praise.
I try very hard to make the short lines work, for pace and impact.
Glad you enjoyed the story and the photo.
I started with a story much like this. It turned left, raged out of my control, and became something else.
Your take on the picture is wonderfully, creepily, well written. (Thanks for the inspiring picture)
Wonderfully, creepily, works for me!
Thank you.
And I love what you created from the picture.
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Gripping stuff. This type of story fits your style perfectly.
Thank you, Paul, Sound Bites with a bite, I like it!
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Hmmm.. he sounds devious! Love the picture by the way and your story! 🙂
Devious?
Hmm, I guess so!
Glad you liked photo and story.
Thanks for spoiling my day. That’s a really evil build up. Unflawed.
You are welcome, Patrick.
And ‘unflawed’?
Jings, high praise, sir.
Nefarious killer with a show fettish.
Well paced and was not expecting that particular end (jer death, yes…just not the shoe thing!
I am answering your comment out of sequence, because you are my favourite.
Your typos make me laugh aloud.
Thank you so much.
Big hugs
I receive the note that you “liked” my comment and then groan when I see show instead of shoe… (and I almost typed show again!!!) Aaargh!
I am, however, very happy I made you laugh aloud!
The sheer randomness of your typed output means that I start to smile when I see your name.
I find it wonderful that you get ‘nefarious’ right, then fall down on ‘her’.
I ma os lokking farword ot yuor stroy tihs wook.
Bollocks! Not one but TWO typos…
I’m now afraid to write ma story…
There’s no hiding breeding, is there?
See my comments to our hostess below.
Well if the two of us made you smile/laugh, then all is good with the world!
His best day ever? High five, Dale. Our mission’s accomplished and my morning’s complete. 😀 <3
Woot! Woot!
Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
AnElephantCant ever get violent
Although he wants to hit Mr Ayr with a big stick
And probably not cease
Because he visits Nice
It is AnElephant who takes today’s pic
Something’s afoot.
Good piece.
Groan.
And thanks.
Scary but very well written.
Thanks, Mike, that is a cool summary.
A serial killer with a shoe fetish? I always wondered about that, you are bound to come across some smelly feet. Nevertheless, intensely written, my skin is crawling.
For some, Lore, smelly is good.
As is crawling skin to this writer.
Thank you.
Ewww. My flesh is crawling! Great job.
Crawling flesh!
Cool!
Dear C.E.
This reads like something out of Hitchcock. You’ve captured the mind of a psychotic…one sick *&^%$. Hated him, loved your well constructed story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Hitchcock?
Wow, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed, but think I might have spotted a typo after ‘one sick’!
It’s not a typo…it’s a fill in the blank I know how I would fill it. 😉
Oh, this is the best day ever.
Between you and your sidekick up north I am laughing fit to bust.
And you seem somewhat judgemental towards my protagonist.
It’s your own fault for painting such a brilliant painting of a lowlife psychotic scumbag.
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