Fear – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly challenge hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, who introduced me to what I now call Sound Bite Fiction.
My goal is to write it as well as she does.
The idea here is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below.

copyright stephen-baum

copyright stephen-baum

Fear

I am a realist.
I know, deep down inside, that she is dead.
And I know that the police will never find her killer.
They do not have the time or the resources.
Or, perhaps, even the inclination.
But I do.
So I stand here, where she was abducted, all day.
Every day.
Watching.
He must know the area.
He must pass by here often.
I keep my senses finely tuned.
I do not know what he looks like, other than the vague and conflicting witness descriptions.
But I will know him.
I will smell her fear on him.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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58 Responses to Fear – Friday Fictioneers

  1. gahlearner says:

    Grief can open strange ways. His determination may cause him trouble… but just standing guard could protect others. This is a man to admire, pity, and fear. Right now, for me, fear wins… I wouldn’t want to meet him, self-justice scares me.

    Like

  2. afairymind says:

    I hope he someday finds her killer, though I’m sure the odds of him doing so are slim. A nicely written piece. You convey his pain very well.

    Like

  3. This was the kind of place my parents warned me to avoid and I can feel the narrator’s pain as he waits for her killer. I don’t know whether he’ll be able to smell her fear or not but perhaps by his vigil someone else may be saved. The odds are the killer has moved on to another spot.

    Like

  4. Very well written piece with a great last sentence. He’ll find his man no matter how long it takes, I’d like to be there to see it happen!

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Cheers, Perry, your praise is highly valued.
      And I have to admit I liked the last sentence too.
      I am sure you know the feeling when you just nail it.

      Like

  5. Amy Reese says:

    Ooh, I love the last bit of him smelling her fear on him. Excellent work!

    Like

  6. draliman says:

    I hope he’s successful, but fear that he may waste the rest of his life looking for justice/revenge. Great story, you made me worry for his future.

    Like

  7. rogershipp says:

    Well done. I enjoyed the read very much!

    Like

  8. ansumani says:

    Excellent one that is open to several interpretations. Looks like the protoganist is there to serve justice.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Indeed, dear lady, and he means to do so.
      Thank you for your visit, and for taking the time to comment so thoughtfully.

      Like

  9. I’m cheering him on, the best stories revolve around such determination! Well written!

    Like

  10. I like the structure and the impact. The last line makes me wonder more about the protagonist’s own demons…

    Like

  11. wildbilbo says:

    From the structure I thought this was a poem, but it is a true story (not that poetry is a problem of course) 🙂

    I wonder if our MC is entirely human… the suggestion he can smell her fear on the attacker is suggestive of non-human abilities… In any case, I liked it, dark, tense piece.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Thank you for your thoughtful comments, WB.
      I structure my stories, which I call Sound Bite Fiction, in this way for added impact.
      I leave it to the individual reader to decide if it works for him/her.
      And I am happy for the reader to interpret each tale in his/her own way.
      In 100 words we often leaves many unanswered questions.
      There was no intent here to suggest anything non-human, but I can understand why you might think that.
      Some of us have certain senses more highly developed, especially in situations of extreme stress.
      May I presume further on your time and thoughtfulness by asking that you read my previous post here, Time Machine, which might appeal to your intelligently questioning nature?
      Cheers

      Liked by 1 person

  12. babso2you says:

    I enjoyed your story CE!

    Like

  13. Margaret says:

    I love the tone and pace of this. His determination and certainty come through strongly. Gripping.

    Like

  14. Punchy delivery here. Some interesting comments above.

    Like

  15. Dale says:

    Things left unresolved are the worst… they eat at you and stop you from moving forward. I hope the narrator can let it go one day and move on, though I sincerely doubt it.

    Like

  16. I admire his determination and the confidence he has that she will lead him to her abductor.

    Like

  17. I am thinking of Hitchcock, and the story wher a traumatized woman points out her attacker, so her husband avenges her…..only to have her pick out the next man she sees as her attacker…and the next….

    Like

  18. That’s scary … wonder if I will meet him one day.. I think I will be careful with what I eat as it might smell out of fear.

    Like

  19. Vinay Leo R. says:

    I hope his sense of smell is accurate, lest the wrong person be the victim of vengeance!

    Leo @ I Rhyme Without Reason

    Like

  20. Scary to think that predator mode is contagious. This reminds me of an old Twilight Zone… I hope he gets it right. Good job.

    Like

  21. Niki says:

    I liked your portrayal of this person who’s life is on hold. In so few words you managed to sum up the bleakness of their existence.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. That is quite a scary thought of waiting and waiting – I hope he gets the justice he is looking for.

    Like

  23. Sandra says:

    That will be a difficult one to explain to the police, but I’m sure he’s dedicated to the task in hand. Good one.

    Like

  24. Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
    AnElephantCant be in a hurry
    He is not going anywhere
    He is contemplating
    And cogitating
    This new piece of Sound Bite Fiction from C. E. Ayr

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Dear CE,

    I love the determined voice in this. I can’t help but think of Liam Neeson in the Taken movies. Well done. And thank you for your kind words in your intro.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  26. micklively says:

    I wonder whether the narrator will continue to delude himself until he assaults an innocent passer-by?
    Good piece.

    Like

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