AnElephantCant play any instrument
Not the bagpipes or a tuba or a drum
He can’t even trumpet
But like it or lump it
He can bash out the rhythm with his trunk on his bum
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Our cute conductor Rochelle orchestrates an original opus from a philharmony of fictional fiddlers.
And AnElephant tries not to B Flat.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
Copyright David Stewart
Band Night
I love Saturday evening in the park.
The band draws a little crowd, young families as well as elderly folk.
The music is not very good, to be honest, and they always play the same program.
But people sit and chat, clap politely, and the children run wild.
The atmosphere is relaxed, friendly, although I don’t mix too well.
I tend to stay away from the groups, closer to the trees.
I find that knowing the tunes is really helpful.
I take my time, wait for each crescendo.
That is my favourite part.
That is when I torture the child.
Oh no! How cruel.It was shocking. I loved your rhyme makes me laugh.
Pitch perfect – Lovely build-up, doubt creeps in and then owwww!
That was a shock! I too was just merrily reading along enjoying the story, however I did think something was up when he said he liked to stay away from the groups, closer to the trees.
Fantastic story, right up my street. Not that I torture children, but the type of writing that chills me with a fantastic twist 🙂
Oh my, this is chilling. It’s really hard to press like, although I like it.
Something about the happy gazebo scene leads people to “dark” stories.
Dear AEC,
Oh, ouch. This is disturbing but very well put together. Probably true, somewhere across the world. Nice work.
Aloha,
Doug
Oh my goodness!
And your opening parts are always wonderful,too.
Ellespeth
Band Night is quite disturbing. By torture a child, I think it’s safe to interpret molestation. It’s interesting to reach the end, then be horrified enough to go back to the beginning and read it again. Like Wildbilbo said, “ugly stories can be great stories, too.”
You wicked, wicked elephant torturing the lovely folk at Friday Fiction. Go pack your trunk and sit your naughty bottom on the naughty step.
Why you gotta be like that elephant? I was merrily going along and bam you stepped on my fantasy. I did loved the elephants poem.
Aaaaaaand, BAM! Paradigm shift at its best!
Oh my what a gruesome last minute twist! I was enjoying the scene and then the bottom dropped out. Skillfully played.
With each line I thought, “Yeah, I can identify with this! This is great!” and then I got to the last line… For the record, I didn’t identify with that one! 🙂
Oh! That was unexpected. Very well done, Elephant.
Dear Elephant, Good story even if it is a darker than your usual offering! Nan
Always a Zinger at the end. You never disappoint.
DJ
Ah, I was thinking of the evenings my husband and I have spent together in a park, doing this exact same thing – OH! except we haven’t tortured any children – only wished we could. Nice twist.
You bum! Here I was gleefully reading from your ” bash out the rhythm with his trunk on his bum” line.
Got me again!
Oh, crikey! And here I am, home alone, it’s after midnight, wondering if I’ve put the security chain across the door. Oh well, I’ll have to hobble down and check. If I don’t come back in 2 minutes …
I like the shape of the poem, it is like fingers stretching out. I knew there was something coming when you mentioned not mixing well, but the blow was still brutal when it came. (Well done!)
Gees! I really liked it a lot. Until the last line.
You gave me chills, an awesome piece of writing!
You are one sick man!!…. (LOL! Just kidding. I know this is fiction).
I did expect a twist but not quite that… I never come unprepared to an elephant’s stories.
Now Elephant, with all due respect, you’re a dreamy poet so I can’t see even in jest, you torturing anything…but fiction does give us leeway to fantasize. Like the peaceful image…the mundane, the trite. It’s always comforting to know what’s coming.
Would love to see an elephant play a tuba with his trunk. How bout it 🙂
Dear Elephant,
Children running wild often get what their parents deserve… I saw something coming… still shocking. Nicely done. (Perhaps since he’s bumming around anyway, an elephant could play an Air on a G String? A really, really big one?)
Errrr… I guess the orchestra itself was not torturous enough !
A good twist…Nice!
Brutal twist at the end… but ugly stories can be great stories too.
Very well written. I would have liked a little more foreshadowing (the line about knowing the tunes was clever) to lead us into that last line.
Solid work.
KT
AnElephant thanks the unruly Hobbit for his kind words.
And points out that in 100 words there is not a lot of room for warnings.
But he gives several hints, from the end of line 5 onwards.
Ah yes – I see them now 🙂
AnElephantCant B flat
But he can be a brat!
Scares Emmy silly…
Because willy nilly
He tortures a kid just like that!
Nah! it’s just a comment.
Aw, it’s not really torture. It’s character building. That ear might even earn you a cool nickname if you survive to middle school, kid!
Mr J has an interesting view of ‘character’.
AnElephant is feart now!
Well, if your intent was to shock, then congratulations. I don’t think I quite understand why or how the torture fits in.
AnElephantCant please all the people all the time.
Thank you for your visit.
Dear Elephant,
Such a light and airy piece. You had me there on warm summer’s night listening to the music. Did you have to spoil it all by torturing a child? Good bit of writing in any case. Although I’m also left with the image of an elephant pounding out rhythm on his bum with his trunk Bahookie serenade?
Shalom,
Rochelle
AnElephant is sorry he spoiled the evening for lovely Rochelle.
And she should not be thinking about his hind quarters, under any name!