AnElephantCant write a rhyme this week
He just does not have even a minute
He is on a trip
By plane not by ship
He’s from Scotland and he is briefly back in it
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Hosted by the magnificent Rochelle, this is a gathering of writers from around the globe, a melange of cultures, ages, genders and ideas.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
Copyright -Renee Heath
The Past
He does not look back over his shoulder, although he knows the past is close behind him.
He does not understand.
So many years, so many towns.
He has travelled so far and yet gone nowhere.
What rankles most is that he is innocent of the charges.
Although he admits to being guilty of so much more.
The street is dark, the feeble lights flickering futilely.
The soft wind blows him into a lit doorway.
The bar is almost empty.
He relaxes.
Then he hears the soft moan of a blues saxophone and knows that his time has run out.
Brilliant, that is all I have to say.
Except enjoy your trip to the Highlands and Lowlands – I lived there briefly, a lifetime ago.
Take a wee dram for me and enjoy your time there.
Dee
Wow, just really beautiful! Great job.
AnElephant thinks that you are welcome here any time with such a sweet comment!
Thank you for visiting.
“Although he admits of being guilty of so much more”…I like that.
Thanks, Dawn, it just seems to be the way things are sometimes.
Nothing ever quite that simple ……
Yup, that’s life, that’s what it’s all about.
Dear AEC,
History tailgates, blue saxophone and all.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi Doug
It does appear that there is no escape from the past.
As most of us discover in time.
Thanks for your visit and comment, much appreciated.
Made sense to me.
Scott
(Did read a couple of comments and they helped too!)
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/08/08/friday-fictioneers-ff-8102013-just-like-marilyn-rated-pg13/
Thanks ,Scott, good of you to pop in!
Somewhere,somehow,it all catches up, and the sigh of the saxophone says it all…
Ain’t that the truth, in life and in fiction!
Thank you, Mr Pirate, for your observations, saying exactly what AnElephant tried to communicate.
And the sax, of course …….
I agree with Bjorn, there’s a ton not said here, that the reader has to use their imagination to fill in the rest. And when that blues saxophone plays, you know nothing good is about to happen.
Ah, well spotted, dear lady, the sax is not good news.
Very glad that it spoke to you, thank you.
I love open ended stories. and this one contain so many riddles for the reader to fill in. Yes this was great.
Thanks, Bjorn, AnElephant is like you, he loves the quiet enigmatic tale.
And he is very happy that this one seems to work for you.
Cheers
I feel like you’ve written a whole novel in these 100 words. The mood here is brilliant.
Well, golly gosh, AnElephant is hugely flattered.
Thank you, David, for your generous praise.
I really enjoyed reading this. Great story. What did he do? What didn’t he do? Excellent.
Ah yes, always the questions!
But the 100 words are all used up and the lovely Rochelle will probably pulverise AnElephant if he says more.
Delighted you enjoyed, and thanks for your visit and comment.
I love these lines: “What rankles most is that he is innocent of the charges. Although he admits to being guilty of so much more.” That could be said of many, I think. Of course I wonder what’s making him move on and why the sax brings it to life, but you conveyed well the sense of weariness at having to constantly be looking over your shoulder and moving on.
Have a wonderful time in Scotland.
janet
Thank you for your kind words and good wishes.
It is very sweet of you to take the time to share your thoughts.
Thank you, Janet.
Dear Elephant,
I love the atmosphere in this piece. The saxophone left me wanting more.
Wishing you continued safe travels.
Shalom,
Rochelle
M’lady Rochelle
AnElephant is touched by your good wishes.
And delighted that you enjoyed his little contribution to your weekly feast.
Ah, the sax!
Yep, it just works, does it not?
Intriguing.
AnElephant is happy that you are intrigued!
A pleasant read. One could feel time catching up with him, the run slowing to a crawl, tired and weary.
Sometimes we all feel that way, don’t you think?
And thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to share.
I agree.
Ooh. Very much enjoyed the lull of this tale.
AnElephant is happy that you enjoyed and grateful that you took the time to comment.
Thank you.
It has the “experience” factor usually associated with poetry … which is good.
Bravo, Mister Elephant.
Thank you very much.
Yes, life plays the major role in what AnElephant writes.
Much appreciated.
Thomas Wolfe said it, you can’t go home again, and I think he was right. Ron
Well, you actually can, then you’d remember why you left in the first place.
AnElephant is not sure that it is always that simple.
Sometimes the reason for leaving is in the destination and not the source.
AnElephant loves Scotland, but needs some sunshine and a different inspiration at this time.
AnElephant thinks that this is a play on words.
You can go back, but you can never go home again.
Probably true.
Thank you for visiting, Ron, much appreciated.
The sax finished me–you successfully captured the man, his regrets, his environment and his future. All in 100 words. Well done.
Just occasionally it all comes together.
AnElephant has to confess he rather likes this one himself.
Thank you for your very kind analysis and for taking the time to share your thoughts.
awww, a lovely piece 🙂
Awww, a lovely comment!
Thank you, you are very sweet.
It’s funny how I almost feel more homesick when I’m back at my parent’s home than when I’m away, because it reminds of the past that I’ll never have back.
AnElephant understands this all too well.
Perhaps it is not homesickness, but a longing for a past that perhaps never was?
Working on my emotions AEC, bringing a touching story to us this week.
Well, cheers, Joe, very glad it got to you.
Always on the edge,
stepping too close to the ledge
And I fall for it every time!
It should be a crime…
Mais ca t’amuse bien, le danger, n’est-ce pas?
Nostalgia comes to mind when reading your post anelephant!
Enjoy Scotland while you are there. You now live in ‘my’ country, I once lived in ‘yours’.
Thank you, m’lady, but nostalgia ain’t what it used to be, is it?
Are you en France maintenant?
Oui, tout à fait!
This is lovely sir elephant. The sense of innocence gone ignored is clear. Added to that there is a sadness about the persona that gives it a heartfelt edge. Well done good sir.
Thank you, AnElephant is very happy that you not only enjoyed this, but got all the nuances.