The Hunt – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant tell you how excited he is
It is Wednesday Fictioneer time again
Please don’t be confused
He just tries to amuse
With this happy tale about goats in the garden

Actually, as you well know, it is Friday Fictioneer time.
We enter the domain of the Empress Rochelle, who graciously permits our feeble offerings to be laid at her feet.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright – Randy Mazie

Copyright – Randy Mazie

The Hunt

He studies the reports until his eyes ache.
He calls in favours, offers bribes and threats, begs and buys information from police and local press.
Finally he understands the man who attacked his daughter.
And all the other young girls.
He calculates where he will strike next.
He waits and watches.
He sees a man emerge from the shadows and moves quickly.
But not quickly enough.
The blow to his knee drops him to the ground.
They surround him, bats in hand.
The next blow renders him unconscious, so he never hears the words.
He won’t ever harm another child.

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48 Responses to The Hunt – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Pingback: The Prayer – Friday Fictioneers | Sound Bite Fiction

  2. Mystic says:

    That was quite a hard read. Specially the end. But nuanced and gripping at the same time. Well written.


  3. Sarah Ann says:

    Oh wow. Very suprising and sad ending. Fantastic writing.


  4. annisik51 says:

    Well written in so few words. Even a twist in the tale.


  5. Penny L Howe says:

    I go along with Doug. Excellently written! 🙂 xo


  6. erinleary says:

    What a shame…it should have ended better for him.


  7. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear AEC,

    This was your best story so far. Nuanced, layered, terse yet full of detail, it carriend me along until the unforeseen twist at the end. Good job.




  8. julespaige says:

    Looks like something that could be taken right out of the daily news. Injustice of justice.

    The rule of ‘an eye for an eye’ wasn’t meant to blindside anyone. It really was to control the amount of wrong justice metered out. As in those ancient times if a man manhandling and hurt his neighbors daughter, the price to pay could go on for generations. An eye for and eye was meant to be; let the puishment fit the crime. So if a man stole his neighbors goat, he just had to replace the goat and not give up his first born as well.


  9. Interesting piece. Nothing like a lynch mob!


  10. lewiscave says:

    Sad but extremely entertaining. Thanks


  11. neenslewy says:

    Lump – stuck – throat – a terrible subject but strong writing – I hate to think of people doing anything like this, I am glad there is retribution in his capture.


  12. wow, very intense! feel so bad for the guy 😦


  13. Tough piece but made its point very well. A surprising turn of events excellently handled..


  14. Shreyank says:

    he was at wrong place at the right time..


  15. nightlake says:

    Terrible ending to mob justice..realistic story


  16. zookyworld says:

    A surprise to me at the end, the guy seemed to be so careful. But others were hunting, too. Sad that they got the wrong guy.


  17. Mistakes easily become fatal when wielding a bat


  18. RoSy says:

    A vigilante I’d look the other way for.


  19. wmqcolby says:

    Great take on the prompt. Originality. Love it!


  20. This is such a case against what we call ‘jungle justice’ in Nigeria. Giving him up to the authority would have served as a deterrent to some others who may want to tow his path. But, now we have a misplaced justice.


  21. Dee says:

    Powerful illustration of how mob rule goes wrong and that it’s not always the bad guy who gets the rough justice.


  22. If that’s your idea of amusing (per your poem), I’ll pass on anything darker. A terrible tale all around–that the father planned “justice”, that others did as well, and that they got the wrong man.



  23. Carrie says:

    vigilante justice at it’s finest…sadly, not always against who deserves it.

    I was a little confused if it was the father getting beaten so it could you some clarification


  24. JKBradley says:

    I’d like to think he could still hear it as the hot blackness swirls around then squeezes his soul down, down, down.


  25. Linda Vernon says:

    Gripping and gritty tale. Completely unexpected given the tone of your introductory poem! HA! But oh how I love surprises! 😀


  26. emmylgant says:

    Gripping story. Once again, things are not as they seem.


  27. Kwadwo says:

    This is why I am totally against mob justice. Every now and then, innocent people get hurt.


  28. Joe Owens says:

    I wasnlt sure if the point of view change in the middle. Poor dad, trying to do his job and gets wrongly punished. Proof vigilantes are not a good idea.


  29. vbholmes says:

    An example of misplaced justice or a has he deceived himself? Either way, powerful story.


  30. Alastair says:

    I would be there as well, only I would have made sure that the second hit would have been in the knackers.

    This is a very well told story. You can feel the father’s vehemence with it


  31. That’s quite a contrast from the man at the beginning, studying, investigating and trying to understand, to the attitude of revenge and justice at the end. Great job.


  32. Sandra says:

    The way I read this, the watching waiting father is mistaken for the guilty party. So a victim of the kind of rough justice that he was planning to execute? Well done.


  33. Gabriella says:

    Very well-done! We feel like clubbing this bloke too!


  34. Dear Elephant,

    This one is stunning. The way the father plots and plans and then goes for the bastard. I really love this one.




  35. summerstommy2 says:

    Wow, brutal stuff. Sadly a reality in some places. Very well done.


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