The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
Viewpoint
Hi Susie, I can see you!
You should have come with me, I can see the whole world from up here, even you sitting outside the cafe, looking all grown up.
Well, apart from the ice cream on your nose!
Give me a wave, Susie – oh, that’s not very polite!
But honestly, I can see the whole town from here, including our home. With the binoculars I can see right into the living room.
No, I can’t see Mummy, she’s probably in the kitchen. But she won’t cook anything tonight, will she, cos Daddy’s not back till tomorrow, is he?
Hang on, there she’s now, she came the other way, must have been answering the door.
Yes, cos there’s Mr Farley from next door, he’s a funny man, isn’t he?
What? Yes, he’s nice, always giving us money to go to the cafe for ice cream…
Oh wait, something’s wrong, Mummy must be not well, cos Mr Farley’s giving her the kiss of life!
And he’s helping her off with her top, I think she’s having trouble breathing, her face is all red.
No, don’t go, Susie, Daddy’s car just arrived outside, he’ll make sure Mummy’s okay, won’t he?
Wow, he’s charging into the building, he must know something’s wrong!
There, he’s arrived in the nick of time, Mr Farley’s just got Mummy to lie down.
Hey, Daddy’s got me a present, a baseball bat.
He’s showing it to Mr Farley.
Oh, wow, Daddy, that’s not nice!
Poor Mr Farley.
This is just brilliant! If only the child knew – but then again it’s better it doesn’t!
Cheers, Keith, it’s the innocence that makes it funny, I think.
Ho ho, – in more than several ways – very well done, CE!
Thanks, Chris, I like ‘Ho ho’!
follow up Comment
Will stand by my initial reaction: lol
(you know, your story reminds me of how little it takes* to make an interaction so much more ‘real’. and, imo, this puts an online gathering on another level of reality, to everyone’s benefit. celebrating the community that can happen in the virtual world.)
*I use the term ‘little’ factiously. For many in these writing fora, breaking the 3.5th wall** seems a risk. As we know, it is almost always worth it.
** not to address the Reader so much as, to the side, our fellow writers/authors
Glad it worked for you, Clark, finding the lad’s voice was the tricky part.
Using the name of a real person – you are, aren’t you? – just seemed to me to make it funnier.
you know what? I’m gonna print my total first impression:
lol
before you react, I mean this literally. I haven’t finished the story. (got distracted by a proper* name in blue)
*proper; adj: stiffly politely, friendly in a distant way… you know, he’s a lot funnier once you get to know him
And a jolly good sport!
Daddy’s home and he’s taking care of business.
Loved your little CE voice!
Thanks, Nancy, that voice was a wee challenge!
Hahaha — once again you’ve made me laugh. Poor Mr. Farley indeed.
If you’re laughing, I’m smiling!
This is great! Loved the perspective and, of course, Mr. Farley!
Thank you, Rosemary. I bet you thought Clark was a decent sort of chap, didn’t you?
Lol lol
This is an interesting viewpoint. I did have to read it a couple of times to understand it, though. At first, I wasn’t sure who was where. I am slow somtetimes. Good job!
Thanks, Tessa, glad you got there!
Cautionary tale – never give a kid binoculars.
This one made me smile, with its two levels of understanding and an invisible character who is very much part of the story.
The naive child’s voice sets the scene, with Daddy being away overnight, and carries us all the way through the artless observations – it’s great.
And that Mr Farley…!
Glad the kid’s voice worked, Jenne, tricky to get the tone right.
Yep, he’s a cad!
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😂 great story!
Glad you enjoyed!