The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
Dancing Queen
My whole existence was dull, and my world so limited, until she arrived.
I remember how we both laughed with joy when she waltzed up the ladder to hang those curtains.
They had flowers on them, big, pink flowers with huge green leaves.
She almost never closed them, but they brightened both our lives.
I could tell she was happy back then.
She loved that front room, the one with the view, she was always dancing in there.
She’d sing when she came out of the shower, boogie across the floor as she dried herself, and carefully choose her outfit for a night on the town.
She had a zest for life, and she brought sunshine to mine.
I miss those days.
Now the wooden shutters close the room like a prison.
And I can’t help wondering if it’s my fault…
But wait, the shutters are open again.
She’s standing at the window and, when she sees me, she waves up to me.
It seems she understands my adoration, and forgives my earlier dubious behaviour.
I raise my binoculars, focus on her.
With a radiant smile she throws her arms wide and starts to dance.
I am enchanted as her short dress swirls around her thighs.
When the doorbell rings I ignore it, but it is persistent.
I hurry to answer, unwilling to miss a second of her performance.
He is huge.
And quite violent.
My binoculars were never designed to fit there.
Plot twist. You scamp! 😹
It was going so well, I even looked out of my window hoping I could see her. Now I’m glad I didn’t!
*Great minds think alike, it seems!
Got to be careful, Keef, some things are not a great fit!
Hahaha! I was picturing a police officer at the door — but your big guy was much more effective!
I do like when my reader laughs!
Pingback: On the Fifth Floor of the Four Storey Building – Tales from Glasgow
Ho ho, well done, CE!
I love ‘Ho ho’!
This is great. Such masterful misdirection. Every detail reinforcing my first impressions, and then ‘But wait … ‘ and I’m hooked again but with renewed curiosity. Then the final twist (of the knife??) with that pesky doorbell and the fun is over. Brilliant.
Thank you, Margaret.
It is, as you know, immensely satisfying when a story works so well, especially when, like this one, it was not an easy write.
The mid-point change was tricky!
Master of Misdirection (as j notes in her second comment)… which, imo, is not as easy as it seems.
We’re engaged by the MC, and even those suspicious Readers, on the lookout for tricks, are taken in by the narrative.
Nice ‘something-bad, Reader’s choice for details”*
*the best stories leave certain choices to the Reader. Often we’re allowed to be in charge of casting… maybe sound. More fun that way.
I have always believed in the original Room 101 philosophy, Clark, that the reader can imagine worse things than I can write.
Glad it worked for you.
I don’t know what to think. I imagine the binoculars and their final resting place. Ouch!
Such a lovely story to start with, until it wasn’t.
Quite a feat to cause a reader to change her opinion about a character in the middle of a 250 word tale.
Magnifique.
Laughing.
Thanks, Jenne
Ouch, that final line really hurt!
So much subtle misdirection in this that my brain is swirling like her dress.
And It’s left me with a lot to ponder about each of the characters
A wee swirl can do your brain the world of good!
And they were a kinda odd pair, weren’t they?