The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
Aftermath
She moves through the village with enchanting grace, impressive speed and frightening silence.
She barely pauses before gliding through a doorway as though it was wide open.
He can hardly breathe as he watches her mount the stairs in long, lithe strides before slipping soundlessly into the room where the baby sleeps restlessly, tender gums split by emerging teeth.
He sees the woman, with a casually elegant gesture, flick back her long, raven-black hair and bend over the troubled infant.
He tries frantically to rise, or even to shout, but is unable to do either.
When her hand comes from under her dark, ankle-length coat, he flinches at the glint of steel in the moonlight.
Her hand rises and falls, time without number, and blood spatters from the long, narrow blade.
After an eternity she stops and turns her head towards him.
He sees that she has no face, just a great open wound to replace the beauty that once turned men’s heads.
And caused him to fall hopelessly for her.
Now the scream comes, jerking him awake and upright.
The dog’s howl echoes his own.
Later, when the light comes, I sit with my arm around the dog, talking quietly to him.
‘I’m sorry,’ I tell him for the thousandth time. ‘I had no choice.’
I miss her too, more than I can ever admit to anyone, even myself.
Especially myself.
I wonder if he’ll ever truly forgive me.
Or if I will.
Wow. This left me feeling disturbed.
I suppose that was the intent and so, well done.
Thanks, Dawn, nightmares can be very disturbing, can’t they?
Things that are unthinkable, let alone unsayable, do visit us in our dreams, and by the end I understand why your MC is so tormented. The image of the faceless lady and her wafting progress through the village towards her horrifying end point will linger in my thoughts for quite some time I think. Phew. The shift of perspective and mood at the end is a relief, although not a comfort, given what you reveal there. Great control of mood and pace in this. Of course.
Thank you, Margaret, for reading the words and understanding what I tried to say.
Our world is sadly full of unspeakable acts, and sometimes sleep is no refuge.
I’m pleased that the end shift worked for you, I was unsure about two contrasting POVs in such a short piece.
Thank you again for your support and your kind words.
From you they mean a lot.
Wow, I’m at a loss for words and that’s unusual! You’ve taken your specialist subject to a new level.
Happy New Year C.E.
You at a loss for words?
That’ll be shining bright!
All the best, my little droogie.
When writing evokes strong emotion (and this certainly did!), I say well done. Well done, sir. Disturbing, yes — but you pulled me in and left me with emotions and questions.
Thanks, Sally, much appreciated.
I think that if a short piece generates ’emotions and questions’ then something worthwhile has been achieved.
Orrabest.
This is a tough one for me to like or comment on, CE.
Despite the common “anything goes” attitude prevalent in the arts, I believe there are some topics that should not be touched, some lines not crossed.
Based on your sterling capacity for storytelling alone, especially the dark and forbidden zone, this one took my breath away and left me rather speechless.
No jokes about this one, CE. Per favore.
All the best to you in the new year.
I am genuinely curious, Nancy, as to what topics should not be touched, or lines crossed.
I don’t believe in censorship, self-imposed or otherwise, with the exception of violence-inducing hate speech.
So, please, enlighten me as to which part of this nightmare you found unacceptable.
I don’t believe in censorship, self-imposed or otherwise, with the exception of violence-inducing hate speech and the butchering of babies in a fact or fiction story and/or in real life.
This is the part of your story which I found personally unacceptable. I would prefer not to read or hear about such heinous acts.
I have too many questions here, Nancy, so I think it best I leave it now.
Life would be much too boring without a difference of opinion as long as we know when to just let it go. The old adage about beating a dead horse come to mind.
Wishing you a grand New Year, CE!
Sweet Jesus, Man!
Very scary, and even more so as you create room for so many questions around back story and present situation. As the comments here show…
Well done!
Thanks, Liz.
I appreciate that you comment on the story and not on the knee-jerk reaction to the content.
And I’m very happy with ‘Well done’!
(nods and smiles)
well, that’s a good way to leave the past in the past as we move into the New Year.
nice narrative momentum, two-steps and a sprint. (followed by sitting down and patting the pockets for long absent cigarettes.
Thanks, Clark, I love (the second part of) this comment!
Orrabest, bud.
A rather dark, nightmare of a scenario, CE. The faceless figure within the shadows and the inability to scream are both toe-curling… not that I’ve ever dreamt them (or anything else in your story – I hasten to add! 😳)
Thanks, Tom.
I find horror difficult to write, because, as Mr Orwell pointed out long ago, we all have our own, different nightmare terrors.
Happy it got to you!
Impressive and rather worrying as I read it.
Oh, it is very worrying, Chris!
Thanks for your kind words.
I’m sorry, CE, but I find this deeply disturbing both as a story and the fact that you would want to write such a story. Very sad on many levels.
As Abe Lincoln said, or maybe it was Slim Dusty, You can please some of the people…
Even fictional characters have nightmares, Doug.
Facetiousness doesn’t cut it, CE, nor does hiding behind the cloak of a fictional character excuse it. As I said earlier, the fact that you would want to write such a story worries me.
True horror, expertly written.
My teeth are still clenched here.
In among it all ‘where the baby sleeps restlessly, tender gums split by emerging teeth’ – the vulnerability.
And forgiveness, the eternal question.
Such a lot in this impressive story.
Thanks, Jenne.
You know where the characters come from, so I’m doubly pleased it worked for you.
And self-forgiveness is the real challenge, isn’t it?
Everything is forgivable. Except one thing.
You have been AWOL!
But if you say, “I had no choice” you might only get a slap on the wrist. 😉
As you so charmingly indicate, dear Lady, I failed to contribute to the sacred Unicorn last week.
This was due to circumstances completely within my control.
One always has a choice, so please feel free to slap me wherever you deem appropriate.
I’ll bide my time.
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