Phone Box – Unicorn Challenge

Copyright Ayr/Gray

The Unicorn Challenge.

A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.

To hear me read my story, just click here:

Phone Box

Aye, twenty five year ago this very day we we moved up here to the Highlands, and I still miss your mum every day.
Ach, she was so happy too, finally getting out of that dirty old tenement and moving into a new house in the country.
All that fresh air, she said, she loved the fresh air!
I’m pretty sure that’s what killed her, you know, not the fresh air, but all the exertion and stress, aye, and the excitement of moving.
And just think, if that ambulance had been ten minutes earlier they reckoned they could have saved her with that heart thing.
There were no mobile phones back then, of course, and we didn’t like to go chapping on doors of folk we didn’t know, new neighbours we’d never met.
Well, we didn’t know how critical those few minutes would be, did we?
Imagine, eh, if that phone, the only one in the village back then, hadn’t been vandalised by some idiot just the previous night, she might be alive to this day.
And you must have nearly seen who did it!
I remember you charging out in a terrible mood, angry at leaving the big city, upset at leaving all your old pals behind.
Aye, and you had a boyfriend back there too, didn’t you?
But I have to say, love, you really grew up that day.
Aye, you’ve looked after me ever since, as if your mum’s death was your fault.

Unknown's avatar

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
This entry was posted in Sound Bite Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Phone Box – Unicorn Challenge

  1. Pingback: ffff Fro…Frem….FriDay! -the Wakefield Doctrine- | the Wakefield Doctrine

  2. A touching tale of pain and guilt. Very well done.

  3. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall says:

    Great story, but scary with an ambulance.

  4. Cassa Bassa's avatar Cassa Bassa says:

    What a story! It was deeply felt.

  5. Liz H-H's avatar Liz H-H says:

    I love how the tension builds and winds as the story progresses. Very emotional, furious piece!

  6. clark's avatar clark says:

    what a frightening story. in the sense that jenne alluded to, i.e. the “…he didn’t suspect a thing
    how much can we know of how the world perceives …no! (make it worse!) how the world experiences us/our role in their life.

    ayiiee

    good story, yo

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      Scots author William McIlvanney says “in everybody’s life all other people are just tourists”.
      Coming to you soon in my new novel, the sequel to ‘B of A’!

  7. Pingback: BiFriTry -the Wakefield Doctrine- “Wherein our Intrepid Author reflects upon a photo.” | the Wakefield Doctrine

  8. Oh how sad to carry that burden.

  9. jenne49's avatar jenne49 says:

    Twenty five years and he didn’t suspect a thing – the innocent view of a simple man.
    And yet through that account, although she never speaks in the story, we’re left with the feeling of guilt and pain his daughter silently carries.
    As always, a first-class story.

  10. He always knew.
    Masterful, as always.

  11. ladysighs's avatar ladysighs says:

    I think he knew and he wanted her to know he knew without telling her he knew.
    It’s just my new twist on your story, you know.

  12. Margaret's avatar Margaret says:

    Oh, that had a punch at the end. What a burden for the poor girl to bear. I love the voice, and the way you’ve shown his total lack of suspicion.

  13. Gone to the brooding and moody side this week, CE, and all the better for it. Fine piece.

Leave a Reply to MargaretCancel reply