The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
The Moor
‘So they found a body, you know?’
‘Where,’ her father asks, although he already knows the answer.
‘Up where they’re draining the Moor Loch, where they’re going to lay that new oil pipeline.’
‘I wonder who it is,’ he says, although he knows that too.
‘It’s got to be Charlie, doesn’t it?’
They look at each other in silence for a while.
‘Did you kill him,’ she asks finally, still folding the children’s clothes.
‘What? No! I thought you did! That’s why I hid his body!’
Charlie was a visitor from the big city many years ago.
She had fallen for him in a big way, abruptly dumping her local boyfriend, a farmer, in the process.
Then he broke her heart, told her he was going home to marry his long-time girlfriend.
And just disappeared.
The old man is relieved to tell her at last how he had found him battered to death behind the tractor shed.
‘I knew you had a temper, I thought you had just lost it. Although I was amazed a wee thing like you could do that much damage.’
‘Don’t be daft, I was too busy crying my silly eyes out. I thought it was the end of the world until Jamie took me back.’
They pause, still watching each other, but thinking, then they both turn simultaneously to look out of the window.
The muscles on her husband’s broad back ripple as he hefts lengths of wood across the farmyard.
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Well it was probably a good idea he hid the body after all.
Good story, CE, and of course I love listening to your words!
Great story! The build up to the conclusion was well done, as well as how you slowly eliminated who had done the deed until only one obvious suspect was left.
Thanks, Nicole, I admit that I quite like the flow of that story too. Sometimes it just works!
Glad you enjoyed.
Your stories are always convincing. Had a hard time making a comment.
Thank you, dear Lady.
Your presence is all I need.
But what about all the other participants to whom I cannot write a comment and unable to give them presents of my presence? Figure that one out.
I don’t care about them, and quite clearly neither do you…
I stand corrected!
One of the things I like about your stories here is/are the reality of the characters. the difference, imo, between a decently-drawn character and a ‘real’ character is that with the former we read whatever they might say and move to the dialogue tag until the end (of the story). ok…fine
with a ‘real’ character, such as found in most of your stories, we Readers are able to consider what might be behind whatever it is they are saying in the story.
This distinction may not make sense, here in Commentville, but the Reader always knows the difference.
Not sure how to convey how much I appreciate this comment, Clark.
Dialogue, as we all know, is a tricky beast, not always easy to get right, so when it works, as you feel it did here, it’s a rewarding experience.
Thank you.
Such a creepy story, in a good way. It really has me thinking.
Thank you, Astrid.
I always feel that if a short piece provokes a reaction, or some thought in a reader, then my effort has been worthwhile.
And I like ‘creepy… in a good way’!
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‘… then they both turn simultaneously to look out of the window.’
That sentence gave me the chills.
Lots of lovely reveals leading us along…to the not-expected conclusion.
Excellent, and the music is eerily perfect.
Thanks, Jenne, I like ‘the chills’!
I admit that I quite like this story too, the way it gradually unpeels itself.
I had to cheat with the music, of course. I usually try to link it to the theme of the tale, but I struggled with that, so just went with Gary Moore’s fabulous guitar work.
Unforgotten Season 6 plot revealed.
Most excellent. Plus, I listened too — now I need to go back and listen to your other stories. I’m such a sucker for a Scottish accent. I really need to hear you say “murder” 🙂
Thanks, Sally, I’m glad the recording gave you pleasure, that makes it well worth the extra effort.
As for ‘murder’, do I take it you are/were a fan of Taggart?
I’ll try to work it into my next story!
PS Unforgotten means nothing to me. I guess it’s another TV program I’ve never seen!
I forgotten is a British crime drama that deals with cold cases. It almost always begins with the discovery of a body of a person who has been missing for years
On the other hand Taggart means nothing to me. There’s just something about the two r’s in murder that makes me smile when spoken with a Scottish accent
Taggart was a Scottish crime series where the Glaswegian detective’s ‘catch phrase’ was ‘Therrr’s been a murrdirr’
Top shelf this week, CE. A very forgiving jilted farmer I must say. 😉
Thanks, Doug, although he was perhaps less forgiving to his love rival!
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Ah… mystery solved… or is it?
Oh aye, Tam, it’s solved!
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If it’s not the butler, it’s someone hefting lengths of wood. Great fun. Love a good twist.
Well, I had somewhat foolishly omitted to include a butler in my tale, so it had to be the wood hefter!
Ah, ’tis always someone named Jamie with the broad back muscles.
You gave me the creepy crawlies with this one, CE ~
but in a most enjoyable way.
Aces!
Nothing quite like the enjoyable creepy crawlies to melt lady’s heart, eh, Nancy?
Especially when read by you with that musical intro. Perfetto!
This is great!
Enjoyed listening to your story very much. 💙
Thank you, Lesley, I like when a reader takes the time to listen too.
You read so well. It’s a pleasure to listen.