The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
Incident in a Park
‘What’s in the bag, old man?’
‘Oh, nothing that might be of interest to fine young men like you.’
‘I think we’ll take a look, just in case. Tam, get the bag.’
The old man lifts the battered leather bag from the park bench, pulls it to his chest.
‘Wait, please!’
Fred, the spokesman for the two boys, opens his arms, smiling.
He’s lean, quick-moving.
Tam’s a big lad, well over six foot, and bulky, intimidating.
‘We know you’ve got sweets in there, you give them to the kids, don’t you? So what’s your game, old man? Some sort of perv, are you?’
The old man shakes his head sadly, resigned eyes watching silent Tam as he hovers nearby.
‘I’m just a lonely old man, son, I like to see children happy.’
Fred moves closer, on the opposite side from Tam.
‘C’mon, let’s see in the bag. Thing is, we know you’ve got money, we’ve seen your car. Anything in that bag worth something?’
‘I don’t think I’ve as much money as you, Freddie boy. But then I don’t sell drugs to the older kids.’
The two boys stop abruptly, Tam waiting for instructions from his leader.
‘How come you know my name, pervo, you been watching me too? Am I not a bit old for your tastes?’
‘No, sonny, you’re perfect. Perfect scum. Perfect age to die.’
Now he smiles, and from the bag he pulls a large black handgun.
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Pulp-in-a-page!*
Liked the story. Enjoyed the example. Hopefully learned a bit.
Engaging, lean and with a twist. What more can a Reader want?
So what’s the * for, buddy?
Other than that, thanks, glad you enjoyed!
It seems they got what they deserved. Am I the only one who didn’t see it coming? Nice one.
Nah, Keef, they’re all lying!
Cheers
A nice twist, CE.
A sort of reverse grim reaper, where the ‘clients’ go to him.
Laughing. I like that, Tom!
Well done!
Thanks, Chris
I was waiting for the gunshota in the end….
Great story
I am too predictable!
And thanks, Cassa
Predictable is too strong a word but you have to admit there’s often a thread of rough justice in what you write, which is very satisfying. The saddest aspect of your story is the suspicion that old men who are kind to children arouse these days. Top shelf, CE.
PS – ‘not in favour of capital punishment’? I used to be the same but not these days.
‘Saddest aspect’ is so true. With my grandson we saw a kiddie stuck at the top of the climbing frame. I moved so I’d catch him if he fell, but sent my grandson for a woman, because I couldn’t be holding a strange crying child.
PS there are cases…
Uffda! Methinks the bag was a trap for the two thugs. Gifts as deserved: candy for the innocent, bullets for the bad. Nice!
Laughing here. You re-wrote my story in a dozen or so words, Liz! Cheers!
The influence of the Carrot Ranch, perhaps? 🥕🐇🦄
Perhaps we were thinking along the same lines, CE, for I saw this one coming.
The perfect ending for perfectly worthless scum! The ultimate comeuppance.
Well done!
If I’m getting so predictable, Nancy, it’s time to hang up my keyboard!
Predictable? You? Hardly!
I was projecting the outcome;
it was inevitable and justified.
Too little too late, Green Eyes, my quill is broken, like my spirit…
Oh my! What a shame about your quill! I imagine you won’t be dipping for a while. Tsk, tsk.
Well, I knew it wouldn’t be the obvious ending, but I didn’t see that coming.
Nicely done, playing on two of the scourges of the western world.
How is it possible to raise 3 moral questions and give an intriguing and satisfying story in around only 250 words?
It obviously is, because you’ve done it!
You know I’m not in favour of capital punishment, but sometimes, with some folk, it’s hard to be rational.
Thanks for your kind words.
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