Travelling Blight – Six Sentence Story

Copyright C. E. Ayr

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – FORM

Click here to hear the author read his words:

Travelling Blight

About 1,000 years ago when dinosaurs were jouking about in an ultimately vain attempt to avoid errant meteorites (I’m rubbish at dates, just ask any of the ladies unfortunate and unwise enough to suffer one with me and they’ll both tell you it’s true) I was a boy programmer in a carpet factory in Glasgow’s east end whence I grew up into a real computer-type dude even teaching bright young things at a Scottish university for a spell before eventually running my own software company.

Last week my flight from Nice to Edinburgh was delayed for undisclosed reasons due to late arrival of incoming big silver bird (not our fault), further delayed due to shortage of baggage handlers and (apparently unforeseen) plane full of passengers (not our fault) then, y’know, due to unexpectedly giant flock of flying people-carriers over Paris (not our fault).

I was seated in an exit row (seat 13C) for extra legroom, and at the window opposite (13F) was a 6 year old girl who was seriously distressing the cabin crew as one must have attained the magic age of 16 years before qualifying to bear the responsibility of saving lives (by opening emergency door) should our chosen vehicle of aerial transport decide to plunge unexpectedly earthwards.

The parents, a gormless couple with an excessive number of excited brats spread over two rows, seemed mystified by this to them arbitrary ruling despite it being clearly specified on the booking form (why are these people allowed to breed and vote, I wonder).

But, and here I arrive unsurprisingly belatedly to the point of my opening sentence (which you probably skipped over while stifling a yawn), I confess to some concern that an organisation that permits the allocation of seats to unqualified individuals (illegally, according to the trolley dolly (can I still say that?) I spoke to) is deemed sufficiently competent to operate machines that amble around some 30,000 feet above terra firma with a couple of hundred living beings aboard.

This sort of sloppy and clearly untested code would have provided an employee of mine ample opportunity to take up a pastime much less stressful to the delicate sensibilities of over-imaginative souls such as myself, and perhaps work on perfecting their golf swing, so I suggest that whoever is responsible be consigned to seat 32b between sweaty Fat Freddy and smelly Fat Frankie for all eternity.

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10 Responses to Travelling Blight – Six Sentence Story

  1. Thanks for the warning… Though I prefer trains over airborne silver tubes.

    Like

  2. clark says:

    not a fan of flying for (what appears to be) the primary theme of your Six. Luckily, the times I have been on an areoplane, it has been relatively uncrowded and of a short duration.

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  3. Good one CE. Those flying tubes are death traps at the best of times, without parents putting six-year olds in charge of the emergency door. A+ for the word ‘gormless’, haven’t heard that in donkey’s years (or even donkey’s ears).

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  4. Another reason for me to stay out of those silver tubes if at all possible.

    Excellent, all the way around.

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  5. This is brilliant! I was wondering how the first sentence was relevant just before you did reference it again. That last sentence had me genuinely laughing out loud.

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  6. That’s me 32a by the way, and I’m not sweaty Fat Fred, I’m sweetie corpulent Keith!

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  7. UP says:

    i love what you did here

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  8. Inspired rant, ceayr. In my last year of gainful employment, I travelled 250,000 in silver tubes (a birthright for Australians). I’m sure at some time my considerable girth sat in 32b but I can assure that I did not noticeably sweat or stink. 😉 PS – Liz will want to know what spells you were teaching at that Scottish university.

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  9. Frank Hubeny says:

    It’s good to know that someone read the rules and knows how to open the emergency door even if she is only 6 years old.

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  10. jenne49 says:

    Who else do I know who can take a small incident in a plane and turn it into a joyful exuberance of words that leaves me with a happy smile?
    Your skill is unmatched!
    And thanks for the warning about seat 32b…

    Like

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