Business – Six Sentence Story

Copyright C. E. Ayr

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – RESERVE

Click here to hear the author read his words:


The last time I saw Ian he was in a dead end job and a dead end marriage, so I’m quite surprised when he calls and invites me to dine in La Croix, Edinburgh’s newest, and expensively exclusive restaurant sensation, and even more so when he arrives wearing a £5,000 Tom Ford suit and a smile I haven’t seen for a decade.

After a sumptuous meal he takes me to his new apartment, a penthouse with views of the castle and the New Town where we stand, brandy in hand, gazing at the monument to Sir Walter Scott in Princes Street Gardens.

As my curiosity has now overcome my natural Scottish reserve, I ask just how illicit his earnings are, and if he is involved in the drug market.

He laughs that that is far too dangerous for him but, as he leads the way to a back room and unlocks the door, admits it is a bit illegal.

I stare at him in disbelief as I look over a single bed, a bucket that is clearly used as a toilet, and, weeping in a corner, a small girl.

Then I smile.

This entry was posted in Sound Bite Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Business – Six Sentence Story

  1. Lisa Tomey says:

    Gasping at the tearful ending.


  2. Liz H says:

    The writing in excellent, as usual. The topic, so well communicated, makes me feel ill.


  3. Indira says:

    Horrific, haunting. You have mastered the art of writing these types of stories.


  4. It started out so well, and then along came that ending. Ouch.


  5. Chris Hall says:

    Oh, wow. Horrific. A lurch to the stomach. So well told; the image you’ve painted in my mind is going to stay with me…


  6. Lindsey says:

    Wow. A hard one but you speak the unspoken. Good for you.


  7. “A bit illegal” gets me. Horrible, ungodly awful. You told it well, though.


  8. I know it happens, that it’s out there. And I can not “like” this story. The narrator’s smile makes it a true horror story.


  9. UP says:

    great post, bu tje photo takes the prize. So haunting. really a thousand words isn’t enough. Great!


  10. UP says:



  11. clark says:

    Now this is a Six!
    Readers of all cultures, even Britain (and its associated colonies) will totally recognize* the fundamental truth in the rise of culture. No price too high, provided the rewards stay one step ahead.

    *hey! speaking if recognizing… having spent hours with google maps and street-views, I could picture the geo-references. As to the underlying assertions of the power of ambition, just need to check out current events


  12. jenne49 says:

    Jeez, that last line.
    In fact, the whole build up to that last line.
    A powerful portrayal of the underbelly of our society, and all the more powerful in its horror because of that last line – there is no redemption.


  13. OK, I give up, totally lost. We Australians have no reserve so I ask ‘What’s going on here?’


  14. Frank Hubeny says:

    Good question to ask: “I ask just how illicit his earnings are”. And with the small girl we can imagine just how illegal (and immoral) it all is. Well presented story.


Leave your Sound Bite here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.