Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by J Hardy Carroll
Family
Dad: For the last time, hurry up. And stop sulking.
I hate you.
Mum: It’s okay, honey, dad isn’t really angry, he didn’t mean to hit you.
I hate you.
Dad: Oh come on, why are you always last? Are you mentally retarded, or what?
I hate you.
Mum: Please, sweetie, just leave it, you know dad doesn’t like to be late.
I hate you.
Dad/Mum: Get in the car!
I fumble through my rucksack.
Where is it, where is it, aah…
My hand closes over it.
I hate you.
Very well done, CE. I love this kind of dialogue.
I did notice in comments, while I assumed a she, as did many of your readers, others assumed a he. Good you left that open with what the item was.
That was in fact unintentional, Bill, but in retrospect it is clear that the child could be a boy or a girl.
Glad it worked for you.
Somehow, although this is all dialogue and action, I can visualize the look on each character’s face, the child’s being the darkest. Nicely done.
Thanks, Alicia, I think ‘dark’ is pretty apt for the kid’s expression!
I think we’re about to hear the clanging of Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.
Yep, or similar, Russell
I’m guessing he’s about to orphan himself…
That is a distinct possibility, I’d say, Ali
Mum will wish she’d stood up for him against his father sooner.
Very true, Liz
I’m guessing it’s his mobile phone, kids are rarely seen without one in their hand these days!
Two more guesses, Keith!
Christ, this doesn’t look good for Dad. Good piece and an awful situation really well told
Thank you, sir
Oh, Dear. This seems to be taking an ominous turn.
I like ‘Oh, dear’!
Ominous indeed
Wow. This one packs a wallop.
I like ‘Wow’.
Thanks, Honie
Ah, loads of family drama.
Ronda
Laughing.
Family drama, right!
Poor kid. There are limits – in fantasy or in action – to every endurance.
Children have little in the way of actual power. And when they go for what they can find, it often only serves to deprive them of power in the long run. That’s the tragedy of it all.
I can see why he’d hate him.
Well written!
Na’ama
Thank you, Na’ama.
As you say, we all have limits
Yep. We do.
Really well written, CE. The repetition of ‘I hate you’ continues until it stops being a child’s temper and becomes something altogether darker.
Thank you, Penny, you got it exactly
This isn’t going to end well, is it? Stephen King vibes.
No. And I blush at the mere mention of the great man’s name
Bad things are about to happen I predict.
You must have the sight, Danny!
This child has learned the lessons well that her dad has taught her: Hate. Hate everyone. And of course, that leads me to think whatever is in the bag is a weapon, because I’m sure she hates her teachers and fellow students as well.
Outstanding writing, CE.
Thanks, Linda, I like when a story provokes a reaction like this
A knife or a gun? How awful ths child’s life has been!
Your worst fear, probably…
Who knows what’s about to come out of the bag, but it doesn’t sound good.
It ain’t, Iain!
What bad parents, mine were the same, how sad!
That is much sadder than my story, Dee
Now, that is a scary one. Great writing this week.
Thanks, Jellico
It’s not going to be pretty when he takes it out of the rucksack
You got it, Neil!
Dear CE,
Ominous. I don’t suppose she’s found her lunch money in her rucksack?
Shalom,
Rochelle
You don’t suppose correctly, m’lady
This has a Lizzie Borden feel about it. I’m hoping that object in the rucksack is just her phone…
Yeah, but no…
Dark. The hate screams in volumes…
Then it works! Thanks, Tannille