Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s thirst-quenching photo prompt comes courtesy of Priorhouse.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Priorhouse
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
The Queue
There is always a queue.
What seems like a never-ending line of people, patiently waiting their turn.
There are old folk and children, men and women in their prime, some couples and some family groups.
I pour tea or coffee, milk or juice, for each of them.
They are unfailingly pleasant.
Most of them smile, with a friendly word which I barely acknowledge.
What do I have to smile about?
I scowl at their happy faces.
They are getting their just rewards.
They know where they are going.
I will be here forever.
One man’s heaven is another man’s hell.
Provoking, indeed.
This is very clever, and raised a grin here. I thought it was just a.n.other hotel till that all-revealing final line. Who knew there was a fancy pants ante room up there?
Very nicely told.
I’m reminded of the symphony conductor who went to hell and spent eternity locked in a room full of banjo players. Well played, C.E.
An interesting perspective! Nice! Na’ama
My entry, if interested: https://naamayehuda.com/2018/09/28/the-service/
Thank you, Na’ama, I usually try to provoke thought.
That’s the best thing about writing, isn’t it? Evoke emotion, elicit a reaction, provoke thought. 🙂
Quite interesting. That setting always occurs to me too. I often think of ways to depict someone’s personal judgment in a mundane setting.
Thanks, Larry
Peter doing beverage service. I agree with Neil. Or Camus. I wonder if anyone reading a lot of the stories will give up coffee.
Mentions of Kafka and Camus! I am over the parrot here!
And there are ladies out there that I don’t want to give up coffee, they are terrifying until that first cup!
Fascinating piece C.E. I can’t tell if he’s like a cult leader with evil intentions of making his followers suffer for some evil reason or malice. Or if this is like the reaper or death. taking people to where they deserve. Like the ferry boat ride to Hades. Well written as always my friend. And big hugs I haven’t given them in a long while 🙂
I hope you brought a note for all your absences, Amanda! Lovely to see you again, and thanks for the hugs
Haha, a big one. Your welcome. Great to here from you too & Read your work. I miss your sinister characters 😉
I loved the way you weaved the piece together telling the story of someone years in their job. That feeling of being a ‘lifer’. Really good.
Thank you, Lisa, glad you enjoyed
Shiny happy faces have a way of making service all the more difficult. Seems it is either hell on earth or hell in the hereafter. Zero sum game.
Life can be tough, before or after death
Oh, hell indeed. On the other hand, what do they serve at the entry to hell? Probably nothing. It is hell after all.
Laughing. Would you drink anything they served at the entry to hell, Alicia?
A very creative take on the prompt. Watching others, even those who died young, enter heaven while he serves the coffee would be like hell. So close yet so far, forever left outside.
One man’s heaven, Brenda …
We all have our own ideas, don’t we?
Happy to have provoked a thought.
Brilliant take on the prompt! What a miserable existence indeed. Maybe he should spike the coffee with something stronger and liven his job up a little. Does heaven accept drunks?
Laughing. You are a bad lady! But I don’t think that he can wander around with a bottle of Scotch, he is kinda restricted to his duties, that is his hell. As for your question, you are asking the wrong person, I just pour the coffee!
What did he do to deserve such a punishment, stuck halfway between here and there. Great writing.
Some of us just live our lives and are judged by others with different values.
Thank you for your kind words.
Nothing stronger than tea or coffee? No wonder St. Peter is so cranky. Welcoming people for an eternity does sound like hell.
The licenced premises are inside, there are children here. Surely you can hold on for 5 minutes till they process your paperwork!
I can’t believe that both you and Björn managed to weave such miserable tales for your characters with something so happy and innocent as coffee as a starting point. I rather like how you both managed to break my expectation.
It isn’t for me to speak for one as talented as Bjorn but, for myself, I’m not a big coffee fan! Glad to shoogle your expectations.
Oh! I love that word ~ shoogle!
What about the road less travelled? The queue without a queue? Would that be heading to heaven or hell? I just had to ask. Great piece, CE.
Best wishes,
Rowena
This is way too deeply philosophical for my creaky brain, Rowena, I’m off to the beach!
I’ve always thought, if the devil is a smart creature, that my personal hell would be a constant loop of rom-com movies and/or country music. To other nice people, that would be absolute heaven.
To each his/her own!
Great story
-Rachel
Exactly, Rachel, this is just another variation on Orwell’s Room 101. Happy you enjoyed.
So, I may finally get to meet you one day – milk and two sugars by the way!
Get your own, Goody Two-Shoes, I just pour.
So when they say- There’s a special place in hell for so-and-so, do they mean this place?
I think that hell, like heaven, is an individual concept.
Why is he so unhappy? He is serving people!
For all eternity, watching everyone enter heaven.
Oh joy!
Probably something to do with the poison (or such), he slipped in someone’s tea. 🙂 Very well done. The last line slipped in so subtly.
Why is it, dear Sascha, that you always seem so dubious of my character?
Still, glad you enjoyed.
I got the impression this was in a funeral home. A never-ending queue, indeed.
Somewhat less mundane, in fact!
I am but there are rules!!
Am I correct in thinking, sir, that you are English?
Yep I am English.
Laughing. Life, my dear chap, even after death, is not like cricket!
As a tea waiter for ever, imagine that!! I can’t stand serving the general public, he’s got an eternity doing so, poor bloke!
Interesting. I assumed that you, like me, were the general public!
Stuck for ever seeing new happy faces…. yes that could be hell or at least Limbo… Dante’s descriptions of that part could fit.
We all have different views of these things, Bjorn, and this is clearly tongue in cheek. Unlike our Italian chum’s little piece!
Mines a tea with just a touch of milk and no sugar, please. Mind you not to strong…😉
I think you’ll be washing the cups, Michael!
Yes, I guess that would be hell, for all of eternity. I wonder what he did in his earthly life, to be sentenced to eternal servitude.
Probably just lived it, as some of us do.
First of all, that’s a great take on the prompt. It’s an intriguing story, too. Heaven as a luxury hotel. Hmmm. Nice work, CE!
Yep, and some of us work eternal shifts there
Is that a gadget’s autobiography?
No, mine!
(I am not sure if you are joking?)
😀
Just wondering if there’s anything stronger on offer? After the whole death ordeal, a little tipple might be in order.
Relax, Iain, I’m sure there’s a bar inside!
Phew!
You expect to get there? I’ll be washing glasses!
Good point. I’ll probably be the bus boy.
Last line is so true! Cool ‘other side of the fence’ story.
They serve great tea in heaven. That’s an incentive to be good & do good everywhere 🙂
Long queues for heaven means there are many good people in line! 🙂
Yes, Anita, and just me serving!
Dear CE,
Wondering if this is literally heaven. Could this be St. Peter complaining of his lot? I agree with Neil…it is Kafka-esque. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Only for some, m’lady, as the last line indicates.
And any mention of the blessed Franz has me grinning from ear to there!
I’m wondering just where they are going. Knowing you, there’s a sting in the tale/tail here.
The clue is in the last line, Sandra, it is quite literal
Ah! I didn’t realise we got refreshments along the way…
No, Sandra, you and I serve refreshments!
There’s something Kafka-esque about this
I am flattered beyond words, Neil