Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s prompt comes from Rudolph the Red-nosed Gayer, and takes me back half a century, to a different time and place. It is, appropriately, in black and white.
This piece is an abbreviated excerpt from Medville Matters, my book of Sound Bite Fiction.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Russell Gayer
Click here to hear the author read his story:
South Africa, long ago
Although strictly forbidden, we head through waist-high grass to the servant’s quarters.
Empty, because the girls are cleaners, one per apartment.
Four doors in a grim, once-whitewashed block.
We creep to the first door and peer cautiously inside.
We see a tiny room, six feet by six feet, containing a single bed and a small table on which sits a candle and a Bible.
There is a pot under the bed.
I look at my brother.
He looks at me.
We are ashamed, of ourselves, of our parents, of everyone.
At seven years old I know apartheid is wrong.
Beautiful story, it touched me.
Thank goodness it’s in the past. Next should come the poverty. Good writing, C.E. —- Suzanne
Such a powerful message.
A wonderful story… perfect way to describe the wrongs without saying more than necessary.
Wonderful story. It certainly makes the imagination go.
Superb. Insightful and beautifully put.
So good. So true.
At seven a child can see things as they are without their minds being led by outside influences. Excellent.
Very smart children! They haven’t been corrupted by mean-spirited people and are still innocent! Good story well written!
Touching. On a daily basis, we discover so many wrongs that a group of humans have inflicted on other humans.
Seven has much more wisdom than seventy these days.
Hi! Simply marvelous. How much you depicted in just 100 words. Touched.
Such fine sublime writing to convey the horrors of apartheid even from a child’s POV. Brilliant, Ceayr.
I had no idea where this was going, but you took me there step by lovely step.
I loved that despite their upbringing they were very clear on apartheid being wrong. Very strong take on the prompt.
That’s a splendid tale. You paint the scenes very simply, and allow them to tell the story. That’s top quality writing. Kudos.
I like how well this story from your book fits in with this prompt.Visually, a whole world came to life as I read along, and a powerful message in your last line.
Simply sublime.
Way to get all serious! I agree with you and loved hearing it read.
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/11/29/friday-fictioneers-a-memory-a-fear-glad-i-am-older/
Scott
What a great story. That build where we#re not sure which way the story is going, and that killer last line. Wonderful C
We lived in Johannesburg for several years. I wouldn’t keep a maid (which made me very unpopular with the neighbours), but still remember my dismay when I saw the quarters assigned to the previous tenant’s maid. Good one, CE.
Very poignant and very well told!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Dear Elephant-Ears Ayr,
I loved this one. (and no end died–at least in this abreviated version). I grew up around a lot of racial hatred and discrimination. Even a child can see it’s wrong. Well done.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Gayer
As the saying goes, that escalated quickly.
Powerful message and great story telling .
I love this. No more to be said
great piece
Dear CE,
This was one of my favorite piece in your book. Nicely edited here.
Shalom,
Rochelle