Suspended – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s prompt was contributed by J Hardy Carroll, and took me back to my school-days, interesting times for all involved.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.

© J Hardy Carroll

Click here to hear the author read the story:
Suspended

Hi, Mum, it’s me, I’ve been suspended again.
Showing a lack of respect to my teacher and my environment, they say.
My English teacher, we were discussing proverbs, aphorisms and stuff.
It’s kinda like an old saying, good advice but snappy, funny.
Like, um, Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, or Don’t judge a book, blah blah.
Yeah, they’re pretty clichéd, but we had to come up with our own thingy, something that might be useful to know.
Well, I remembered what grandpa used to tell me when I was younger, so I used that.
Don’t eat yellow snow.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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75 Responses to Suspended – Friday Fictioneers

  1. subroto says:

    Nice one. Grandpa had sound advice, the teacher needs to be re-educated.

    Like

  2. rgayer55 says:

    Like Neil, I laughed then laughed some more. Now, I’ve got that damned Frank Zappa song stuck in my head, “Watch out where those huskies go, don’t you eat that yellow snow . . . “

    Like

  3. pennygadd51 says:

    Good one! You read it well, too. There was that smirk in the voice that made it abundantly clear why you’d been suspended!

    Like

  4. Sound advice through sound bite fiction. 🙂

    Like

  5. Yeah… that is a good tip!! Lol! We had a pay phone in our school too. God I’m old.. 😂

    Like

  6. Lynn Love says:

    But that’s the best advice! Like ‘don’t make necklaces out of stinging nettles’ or ‘don’t practice handstands in a field of cowpats’. Invaluable, sensible advice.
    Love the speech of your MC – very natural and good characterisation. Great stuff

    Like

  7. granonine says:

    Laughing. Sounds like good advice to me!

    Like

  8. wmqcolby says:

    Charming and funny. I think I now see where a certain “elephant” was born, or more like “how” it was born.

    Good to see you back, C.E. You’ve been missed! Hope things are going well for you.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Thanks, Quortleplinker, he actually wrote the first three drafts of this before I sent him back to the zoo.
      I’m fine, thanks, just different life priorities

      Like

  9. Someone definitely is lacking in a sense of humour and my guess is as good as yours. Great story, Ceayr.

    Like

  10. Haha! Absolutely brilliant. Yellow snow is definitely to be avoided

    Click to read my FriFic

    Like

  11. Varad says:

    Hahaha! This was great CE. The cheeky bugger was right in his own way. Too bad the staff couldn’t see the funny side.

    Like

  12. Good one. I’d have thought the teacher’d laugh. Maybe the Board should suspend ‘Sir’ for lack of sense?

    Like

  13. michael1148humphris says:

    Poor kid, in the smog bound days of my youth, all snow was a toxic yellow

    Like

  14. Nicely done.
    hehehehe

    Like

  15. JS Brand says:

    Brilliant. At least the granddad’s advice was sensible. In a similar situation a friend’s son repeated this piece of advice given to him by said friend: “Never trust a man who tucks his shirt in his underpants”. What?!?

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      A la John Major, as the revolting Ms Currie revealed to an indifferent world

      Liked by 1 person

      • JS Brand says:

        I’m pretty sure my friend was handing out that advice before Miss Egg Marketing Board 1988 made her revelation about John Major’s hidden bits, which leaves me wondering whether and how he had inside information about the flaccid Member for Huntingdon.

        Like

        • JS Brand says:

          “Flaccid” based on impression JM gave. I assume Edwina would disagree, based on her experience. Plus, he was the standing Member at the relevant time.

          Like

  16. Jelli says:

    Or worse, don’t eat the chocolate snow, either. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Dale says:

    That was too funny… Here I was thinking what did that child do? (Having a boy who was suspended more than once…)

    Like

  18. Thanks for the laugh. It’s always good advice.

    Like

  19. James says:

    Sound advice actually.

    Like

  20. Miles Rost says:

    Suspended for saying THAT?! In this day and age, wouldn’t be surprising. Well done, C.E. I like it!

    Like

  21. Grandpa was a wise old bird.

    Like

  22. Rowena says:

    Now there’s some good advice to pass onto my kids. My son is actually going skiing with school in a few weeks. I’ll add that to wear your deodorant and shower daily.
    xx Rowena

    Like

  23. Moon says:

    A very fun story though not-so-fun for the parent and really liked the matching ‘lingo’

    Like

  24. I was grinning into a laugh. Nearly, nearly, got me there. Probably would have if I didn’t have childhood memories of actually eating handfuls of the yellow stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. emmylgant says:

    Yes, you do the funnies!
    You know, I gave the same advice to my son… not sure he listened though.

    Like

  26. Iain Kelly says:

    Suspended is harsh, but I suspect it’s not his first misdemeanor. Good fun CE.

    Like

  27. Sandra says:

    I’m giggling on my way to lunch now. Good to see you back on here, CE.

    Like

  28. Dear CE,

    That phone call is disturbingly similar to conversations with my youngest son who spent more time being suspended that in school. The miracle was that he actually finished high school. The best stories are the ones we relate to, aren’t they. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  29. My grandfather used to say the same thing. Gosh if they really suspended kids for that these days nobody would be in school.

    Like

  30. neilmacdon says:

    I laughed, CE, I laughed

    Like

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