Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
Today’s somewhat macabre photo by Liz Young is perfect for allowing me to express my thoughts.
I have recently been the victim of what I believe to be somewhat unfair attacks by two ladies I had previously considered friends.
They are about to discover that no one has sharper teeth than Sound Bite Fiction.
Bwahahaa!
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
© Liz Young
Click here to hear me read this tale of terror:Revenge is Sweet
The two imprisoned ladies stare balefully at each other.
We shouldn’t have teased him, says the purple-haired pygmy.
It’s all my falut (sic), replies the poutine-bespattered Canuck.
A handsome rogue enters.
He is even more gorgeous than his interview photograph, the pair agree.
Until he speaks.
Hoots mon, he says, it’s a braw bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht.
The ladies scream in terror.
Aye, lassies, he mutters in his almost unintelligible brogue, it’s the death of a thousand Scots words fur ye.
Anything but that, they shriek in unison.
Anything, he grins, questioningly.
The two captives confer briefly.
Then they smile at him.
LOL
I like to believe I’m smart enough to stay well clear of this, but clearly missing one week at FF is missing a lot more than a photo prompt! I’ll have to dig back and see what this is all about! Admittedly, I anticipated something darker from you this week, CE, but this was an amusingly witty surprise! Woe be to the lass who’s your muse. 😉
Yes, Dawn, I wish I had half your smarts, I would not be in such deep kanookies now!
You know how these things start, she said, he said…
I imagine they start with kanookies… just a guess. 😉
Jings, I am now wondering what kanookies are up there in the Pacific North West!
And trembling, ever so slightly…
I love a man who trembles. And trust me, we got kanookies up here! But Jings, hmm… not so sure about that one.
Super fun – the story and the banter 😀
A bit of a change, Dahlia, glad you enjoyed it.
Desperate measures. All he needed was to feed them haggis….
Hey!
I wouldn’t waste such a rare delicacy on mere colonials!
Ahh, very good. I love this banter!
Happy you enjoyed, Clare
Trouble for sure! I don’t think any of them are to be trusted!
In total confidence, Emily, I don’t think any women are to be trusted!
And haven’t we women observed that about the keepers of testosterone?
What can I add that wouldn’t detract? Naught. The story is hilarious and the banter, too.
Just goes to show, Sarah, that with the right supporting cast even this blog can be entertaining!
Very amusing although I fear you may be laying trouble in store for yourself.
Trouble is my middle name, Michael.
Well, etrouble, obviously.
C.E. trouble in the Ayr. 😉 Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? <3
We do need this banter… I have missed it… 🙂
Thanks, Bjorn, feel free to join in.
But I suspect you are not dumb enough to get involved!
Well done, C.E. Those two had it coming.
Unfortunately, I sense retaliation in the near future from the Purple-Obsessed Pygmy and the Conniving Canuck (or ten-thumbed typist).
Thanks, Russell, I thought they were getting too big for their sling-backs.
I am hoping to raise a battalion of supporters before the POP and the TTT finish getting their hair done.
Good luck with that, Guys. 😉
Haha, brilliantly funny 🙂
Thank you, sir, glad you enjoyed
Hahahahaha! You are SO in deep doo-doo.
Keep it up! 😀
It does seem that way, yes.
I now have the entire female species either laughing at me or swearing vengeance.
Five out of five bit off more than I can chews, d’you think?
I’d think so, yes … 😀
Oh man….I’m dying here!!
I’m never going to get to sleep!
You all are cracking me up!
– Lisa
Glad you had fun, Lisa
Totally silly but made me laugh.
We are allowed to be silly sometimes, I believe.
Happy to amuse you
Silliness is good for the soul. 😀
Carry on, you three! This is a delightful back-and-forth.
It seems to me there is much more back than forth, Alicia!
hm – is there any hope?????
Yeah…
but no
hmmmmm
Och aye the noo. What a to-do! Love it.
Click to read my story!
Jings and crivvens, oh good heavens. Thank you
I wonder how many weeks this little duel is going to last. Looking forward to Dale’s post 😉
It is over, they have no way to escape my evil clutches
Everyone’s having a blast in the comments. Good story, it brought out the Scot in your readers.
Yes, they are a bizarre crowd, aren’t they!
Loved it! 🙂 <3
Thank you, it has been fun
Poutine-bespattered Canuck? I may have a typo here and there (mostly for your benefit) but please, my dining etiquette is nae so bad!
You’ve got the story all wrong darlin’… a Scottish brogue is way too sexy to shriek at (even if we don’t understand a damn word…)
I defy anyone to eat that muck without spluttering and splattering a bit.
It is probably the root cause of your ubiquitous typos.
And, as Mr Connery might say, Of coursh itsh shexy, you’re not shupposhed to undershtand it
Must be why I avoid eating it. That and the bazillion bad calories attached…
You look like a typo…
And Sean….swoon!
Okay, I give up, you win!
I look like a typo???
I haev no anwser to taht, Dela
Let’s just kiss and make up already!
Here, I’ll go first! 😙😙
I find myself at a loss for words. Well, scottish ones anyway.
It’s probably for the best, Sandra
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Amusant tout ceci 🙂
Bisous, Gys
Haha … “it’s a braw bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht, ye ken?” One of the things my dad would tell us again and again 🙂
It’s from the song ‘A wee Deoch-an-Doris’ by the great Harry Lauder, Al.
Well done.
In many cases, you find people tend to self-destruct and no revenge is required. That said, my nasty next door neighbour is still at large. Indeed, I can’t help wondering at times whether karma knocked on the wrong door and turned up at our place instead.
xx Rowena
Perhaps karma has an out-of-date address book?
Who says words can’t hurt you!
No Canucks or pygmies were damaged in the making of this blog
Indeed?
Oh?
Hilarious story and hilarious-er repartee 🙂 Great way to end the day, laughing 😀
It is cool to have fun with friends sometimes
That it is. xoxo
As long as we hug and make up. <3
The story has a moral: never cross a Scot!
Our words are lethal weapons.
Dear CE,
Gonnae no’ dae that! Not sure whether to scream or laugh. They say revenge is a dish best served cold.
Shalom,
The purple-haired pygmy
Laughing aloud here.
“Gonnae no’ dae that!” – really, where did you dig that up!
I prefer my dishes hot, m’lady.
The handsome rogue
And I dinna wri’ me story yet…. muahahahahahaha!
Revenge is sweet – and no doubt horrible too! Will it be plank walking or death by haggis? Great fun, C and a fitting riposte 🙂
Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face, Lynn, glad you enjoyed.
Let’s get this clear – you’re calling me a haggis, right? Could be worse 🙂
Death by an out-of-tune bagpipe player. 😉
Haha! Nice 🙂
I see you all had some fun while I was away. Very funny story, you made my day.
Then I am delighted, thank you.
Oh I love this. Can see it running and running!
No, that is me running and running!
I hope you enjoy your revenge, especially with the purple-haired pygmy. Do they read your stories?
After today I might have to reconsider reading them, Liz. 😉
Shalom,
The purple-haired pygmy.
Whatever makes you think I mean you, mlady?
My name’s in your tags…that’s one clue. And I suppose you could call it a hunch.
Oops…
Miss Marples strikes again!
That’s why I rise at numpty o’clock.
Does anyone read my stories?
I think I am pretty safe.
Nae yer not!
This is so funny…
Thank you, Jessie, but let’s wait till the ladies respond, okay?
There might yet be bloodshed!
Help ma boab! Ach, but I sense an unbrak through the feefle. You’re no sae bad.
Jings n crivvens, Neil, ah’m gettin’ richt scunnert wi a’ this pa’er!
Ha, I had been anticipating this and a perfect riposte. But what are they scheming at the end? I fear for the captor again.
Perhaps they will acquiesce graciously?
Or even gratefully!
And then you woke up.
Methinks not… I’ve nae written mine yet…