Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
Today’s photo is by Sandra Crook, perhaps the most talented writer here on FF, and a lovely lady, generous with her time and expertise.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
© Sandra Crook
Click here to hear me read this 1-minute story:
Things
I hear them every night.
They scratch and scrape with vicious-sounding claws.
And they gnaw, with what are probably great hooked incisors.
They breathe in eager gasps, as though on the verge of success.
I get the feeling that they are not very large, but there are hordes of them, working in shifts.
Trying to break through to where I lie, awake, terrified, waiting.
I imagine being swamped by them, their ferocious jaws, ruthless talons, tearing at my flesh.
The noise changes.
Their panting is louder, more excited.
I can barely turn my head.
Something is crawling through the floor.
100 words of pure, unidentified terror. Not knowing what’s there but that it is relentless makes it so much scarier
That was my goal, Michael, thank you for confirming that it worked
The terror was done horrifyingly well. Err…umm…stirrings of a guilty conscience perhaps? Just askin…
To the pure, all things are pure
You bring those night terrors to life wonderfully well! What are the creatures gnawing away, trying to break through? They are different for everyone, we all have our own late-night fears.
Thank you, sir.
The writer is totally dependent on the imagination of his reader, every time.
Very true. But it takes a good writer to make the reader care enough to use their imagination
So many great lines in this, and all moving toward the terrifying conclusion. Masterfully written. My hat’s off to you Mr. Ayr.
That was a very serious comment, Russell.
So this is a very serious response.
Be careful you don’t catch a head cold.
You capture the fear beautifully. Thankfully, it doesn’t sound like frogs. As long as it isn’t frogs I’d be ok! 🙂
C’mon, Clare, a wee touch of garlic and frogs are great!
Oh lawd…i am petrified of mice!
Sheesh I hope this doesn’t give me nightmares.
Why couldn’t you have just killed some old lady or something…oh wait…. :/
Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that…
A nice not very old lady called Dawn
Discovered her bank account was quite overdrawn
She said this isn’t funny
I’m bored having no money
So I chopped her head off before she could yawn
Happy now?
LOL…very 🙂
Oh dear. My sister is having trouble with mice in her apartment in Zaandam. She awoke to one on her chest the other night!
I am saying nothing, Joseph
My daughter said “See dad I tiold you mice eat people!” 🙂
Ah, Joseph, the wisdom of youth!
Indeed.
I hate those creepy-crawly things! Yikes! Enjoyed.
You hate those meeces to pieces, Roger?
I think I hear scratching!
Got an itch?
I grew up on a farm in Austria (Italy) I know this noise so well. Sometimes we could hear the mice in the attic, then we knew it was time to put the cat up there.
These beasties eat cats (dogs)
The sounds of a grist mill come alive! Love it! We had an old grist mill near us and I’ve spent many an hour feeding it grain, watching and listening as it ground it into fine meal, then taking the meal to the stones and then waiting for the flour to filter out. The process always fascinated me. I grind my own meal and sift to regrind to flour at home with small hand grinding stones. Nothing but the best for my family’s ceremonial bread! 🙂
What a wonderful comment, thank you.
And congratulations, you pipped lovely Amanda (Mandibelle) below for this week’s longest comment!
Wonder if they are aliens! Rats or mice, I shudder.
Very terrifying. You surely raise the hair on our hands!
Or alien rats and mice, even better!
Glad I can help with your trimming needs!
😂😂😂
Terrifying. I hope you don’t really dream like this!
It wasn’t a dream…
So gory and disgusting. I don’t want to know what these creeping creatures are. I picture these giant awful rats. But I have not much to comment on, other than that your narrator needs an exterminator, a very good one. Or he needs to cut his losses and leave, no need to stay and be eaten. Hugs CE. i’ll try to get to some of your other pieces, I’m behind with the holidays 🙂
Oh Amanda, I do so adore your comments, I am laughing aloud again.
I plan to pass on your comments, and your phone number, to my narrator, who will, I am sure, be delighted to find a very good exterminator of vicious-clawed creatures emanating, perhaps, from a parallel dimension.
Hugs
Lol. Well giant rats, they could be very dangerous, thanks for passing the info along lol,.
I read this with the audio. Your slow lowered voice raised the scare quotient several notches over. Excellent story written with your regular panache. Scare us more, Ceayr.
You are very kind, Neel, I am delighted to scare you so enjoyably.
A nice drop of psychological terror to start a new FF year. Happy New Year, and all the best for 2017.
Thanks, Paul, terror is always a good ice breaker, I find
Your story would go down really well on one of my kids’ Scout camps. I could see them all huddled in their tents and the story being told in your voice scaring the beegeebies out of them.
Actually, speaking of camping, we’re heading off to Tasmania for a few weeks and will be doing some camping. I might be scaring myself instead. I might be getting ear plugs!
xx Rowena
I would be honoured, Rowena, if you wanted my stories in voice format, and am happy to send you mp3 files if they are at all useful.
Thanks for the memory jog🙂 This story has reminded me of being on night duty many years back. I had reason to visit the cellar of a venerable [old] hospital, the floor was totally moving.🤢
Sometimes real life is creepier than fiction. I cringed reading that!
xx Rowena
You are welcome, I usually charge extra for nostalgia
CE, I so enjoy your stories, varied and wonderful each week. But, oh how I love listening to you read them! This one brought prickles to my neck!
Behave yourself, woman!
The thought of prickles on your neck has thrown me quite off track…
Ho hum…
Color me tickled. Oops… that may too much too. 😉
‘Things’ are always scarier when you don’t know what they are. Great tale C.E.
Imagination is the writer’s friend
Don’t look! Wish I hadn’t read this at night!
Laughing, thank you
I will soon go off to bed… your story will most likely make me sleepless listening for “things”.. those claws are disturbing even for a sound mind… but for me 🙂
Sorry, Bjorn, but your comment made me laugh.
Maybe we have a common mind problem?
Somehow I imagine rats – big ones! Thanks for that. Very well done – on the creepy side.
I am happy for you to imagine whatever scares you most, as in the original Room 101 (1984).
No, I don’t like this at all. Far too vivid and real and well-written!
Ah well, no more to be said.
Except thank you.
Scary and wonderfully descriptive. Tense writing.
Is Graham behind the settee?
That’s terrifying! Your descriptions are so vivid, I can hear the claws scratching, hear them crawling closer. Really strong atmosphere and images C
Thanks, Lynn, happy to terrify you!
You do it so well, sir 🙂
The creepy crawlies are always louder in the depth of the dark. So glad this is being consumed in the light of day. You did a great job setting everyone’s fears on edge.
Thanks, Joe, I just write words, the reader’s imagination does most of the work
I consider that the best kind of writing. That is the beauty of books compared to movies and television, you get to paint the picture the words trigger in your mind. I learned that concept while reading the Hound of the Baskervilles in high school for English class.
I was finding myself getting more and more tense with each word… you do scare us so well, don’t you?
One tries, Dale, one tries
I found myself hardly daring to reach the end of this; I was cringing in my chair. And now I’ve read it, I’ll be cringing in my bed as well. Good job there, and thanks for the lovely comments. 🙂
I figured you to be made of pretty stern stuff, Sandra!
Comments are true.
I would be reading this after I heard a bunch of mice scampering in my ceiling! Oh well … you’re not responsible for that. The audio is great for this, though! Love listening to you read as I read along. So fun! Rochelle’s right, you DID up the bar on things that go bump in the night.
Five out of five “Man who wasn’t there”s.
Thank you, Kent, and don’t forget to leave some cheese out.
😀
Where’s there’s a mill there’s a fat rat or two. Nicely told.
Could be rats, but…
Dear CE,
You’ve just raised the bar on ‘things that go bump in the night.’ I’m pulling the covers over my head and staying there until daylight. Well done. All it needs is illustrations.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, m’lady, and illustrations are your area of expertise, I am just lucky enough to know people with talent.
Mice will do that to you at night. Well written as always
Mice? Yeah, but no