Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
Today’s photo is by yours truly, a little doorway set back from a cobbled lane in Gassin, a small but spectacular hill town a few miles from Medville.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
© C. E. Ayr
Click here to hear me read this 1-minute story:
The Park
The children bring back the memories.
I have not visited this park, or indeed this town, since my kids were tots.
That is over twenty years ago.
But I still remember watching them play on the swings, the slide, and the roundabout.
And I still can picture some of their friends.
Like the little curly-haired blonde girl who went missing.
We had left town long before her body was discovered the following spring.
It was in the gardener’s little cubby-hole, among the mowers, the trimmers, the shears, the spades.
Dixie, her name was.
My late wife thought I killed her.
Thanks for the great picture, C.E. That was a creepy twist at the end. it still left me wondering which I’d guess it was supposed to. Good writing as usual. 🙂 — Suzanne
It is quite a cool photo, I agree, and selected by our omniscient leader for our prompt.
Yep, creepy twist and wondering, that is what I aim for!
Lovely to see you here, as always, Suzanne
What an ending! I love how much meaning it adds to the whole story – masterful.
I love your comments, Margaret, thank you.
Especially ‘masterful’, I do like that!
the last line was least expected, nice story
Thank you, IB, I do like to surprise you.
Sounds like his late wife had suspicions about him, but did they have foundations? Had they left the area to get away from his crime or was it coincidence, was it the gardener after all? Nicely crafted.
Lots of questions there, Michael, not many answers!
Glad you enjoyed.
Such a beautiful story at the start. You brought back memories of when my son was a child. Then the dark turn. Loved the mention of the “late” wife.
In 100 words it is not easy to build characters, unless you are extra-talented like Rochelle, Sandra or Claire.
So most of us try to create a scenario, and then give it a twist.
I am very happy that it worked for you.
You really pulled this off well. Taking too much interest in the children in the park. His wife is suspicious and disappears.
I related immediately to your photo, by the way. My parents’ had a holiday house on the Pittwater side of Palm Beach in Sydney. That’s where they film Home & Away. I noticed a house with a sandstone cave with a door built into it and it immediately captured my curiosity. I thought about using it as a pirate’s cave in a story but in this prompt, I turned it into a man cave for a retired gent to retreat from his wife.
xx Rowena
One of the great joys as a writer and a blogger, Rowena, is to welcome a new reader.
And especially one who relates to the story to the extent that she takes the time to comment.
And then, as a bonus, at length on the photo which, this week, is my own submission.
I was about to say I have been to the beach where they film Home & Away but, in fact, it might have been Neighbours.
I am happily ignorant about both of these series, and any difference between them.
But it was a beautiful spot, on a beautiful coast, in a beautiful country.
I look forward to seeing you here again.
Thanks so much for your lovely reply. I’ll try to find a photo of this cave with the door and share it with you. I’m pretty sure you went to Palm Beach also known as Summer Bay, which is in Sydney. Neighbours is filmed in Melbourne. Say no more. Here’s a link to some Palm Beach photos https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2015/04/18/palm-beach-perspectives-sydney-australia/
Best wishes,
Rowena
Yes, that looks like the place, beautiful spot.
Please forgive my ignorance of your TV shows, I have never watched any soaps of any nationality.
And I thought Melbourne was a terrific city too!
I’m not a huge fan of soaps either and try not to watch much TV. However, my husband has it on all the time he’s home so things sneak up on me. I actually love a few reality TV shows such as The Bachelor, Bachelorette and Masterchef. I get right into all the different people and personalities and love it.
Pingback: Thing My Grandmother Taught Me | MJL Stories
All circumstantial. I’m with Neil on this.
If ever you, I mean your character, needs a good lawyer…
Thank you, Miranda, innocent until shot in the head.
But watch out for that Neil, he looks like a bit of a park-lurker to me!
How dare your late wife think such a thing! :/
I know, Dawn, women, eh, what you gonna do?
LOL
Ouch! Err I am quite sure you didn’t kill either of them… 😀
Who? Me? No way, Pedro!
Of course not and loved the photo 🙂
Nailed it, sir! But, what I really like is the style and approach to the material. You’re always trying for something different in those terms. Way to go! 😉
Ouch I think that as long as there is suspicion I think it opens up many possibilities… reading it was like opening a can of worms (in the best of ways)
Thanks, Bjorn, I love how involved you got in this, much appreciated.
That last line is brilliant. Certainly got me thinking!
My story is called Sally’s Secret
Then my job is done here, Keith!
The fact that she is his ‘late’ wife makes me wonder if she was right!
A reasonable, if sadly suspicious, view, one might say!
Ah, such memories. He seems to enjoy these pleasant recollections.
When we grow older, Russell, as you will discover, all we have are our fond reminisces.
And maybe the insurance money on the dearly departed.
When you start out with lovely images of playing children, I immediately expect the worst. And you never disappoint. I wonder what his wife died of. And thank you for the great picture this week.
The worst is a reasonable expectation, usually, so glad you weren’t disappointed.
The narrator, probably!
Thanks to Rochelle for selecting it.
This is clever an creepy. You expect the speaker killed the child, but not his wife. Great job CE. Hugs
Thank you, Amanda, I quite enjoy being creepy.
Hugs to you too.
Sadly I think that he did it.
Michael!
How could you, sir?
Late wife? Missing child? This one gave me the creeps, and that takes some doing. Kudos!
Thanks, Paul, creeps are good!
Yes, do bring us along, thinking all is so lovely and sweet… really, do. And then, do what you do best. Rip it all away! Well done, sir, well done.
Ho hum, stop whinging, wummin.
You complain even more if I don’t litter the place with corpses!
Ha! Right then!
Wow, great story. I’m not even sure what to think of that last line, but it opens up so much more mystery. I love it. Great touch to record yourself reading it, as well.
-David
Thank you, David, I don’t like things to be too neat!
And glad you enjoy the reading.
Brilliant. I am a huge fan of your writing style. The killer last line was a shocker, as truly it was meant to be. Masterful.
I am a huge fan of your comments, Neel!
I am very happy you enjoyed it so much.
Ooh, I knew there was going to be a killer line to finish, but loved how you gave it a twist – instead of ‘I killed her’, ‘my late wife thought I’d killed her’. So he might have done, might not, but his wife died thinking he did. Wow – years of pain and distrust in one sentence.
Nicely done. And lovely photo – where did you take it?
Thanks, Lynn, even when you know there is a twist, the secret is to spot it!
‘Today’s photo is by yours truly, a little doorway set back from a cobbled lane in Gassin, a small but spectacular hill town a few miles from Medville.’
I looked up Gassin and it does look beautiful – possibly all the more so as it’s been so overcast and chill here and all the pics I saw had clear blue skies! Always a pleasure to read youe stories 🙂
Killer last line. Great photo as well, thanks.
Thank, Iain.
And thanks, Iain!
Nicely done. As usual. I love the “late wife” statement.
Some you divorce, others you need to be more, let’s say, proactive.
I miss my ex-wife. I really need to take some target practice so I am not wasting ammo.
Pingback: Friday Fictioneers – Noisy Neighbours | A Mixed Bag
Such creepiness. The ‘watching their friends play’ and the coincidental lateness of his wife. You say such a lot without actually saying it. Good one.
Honest, missus, it wisnae me!
Thanks, Sandra, I know you read carefully between the lines.
Oh, that last line is very clever. Wonderfully chilling.
Thank you, Claire, chilling is cool!
Personally, my guess is his late wife was wrong, and that he was just dogged by unfortunate coincidence
A big boy done it an’ run away, mister!
CE,
Late wife? Hm. Do I see a pattern here? Apparently his spouse knew him all too well. And your story started so lightheartedly. 😉 Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
What happened to ‘dear’ before CE? It’s supposed to be there.
I ate it earlier
Well, I don’t know, some folk are always spotting patterns where they might not exist.
You are a suspicious wee soul, are you not, m’lady?
Suspicious indeed, kind sir. 😉
My dear Lady R, please note that my late wife was suspicious, and that her tragic death was most unexpected.
Generally speaking, that is.
Hopefully distance will keep me safe and secure in my suspicions.
This one hits hard, so many emotions overlapping. Masterfully done, indeed.
Thank you, Loré, very kind words.