Chocolate – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
Today’s curious photo by Shaktiki Sharma left my head spinning.
This is no way a criticism of the picture, more a joke about the state of my head.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.

© Shaktiki Sharma

© Shaktiki Sharma

There is no reading this week, because I rather think I lack the ability to make credible the voice in the story.

Chocolate

Yes, Daddy, I am sure that is the man.
And I recognise his car, that pretty blue colour.
He gave me chocolate, said he would take me to see his puppy.
He was very nice, honestly.
Why are you so cross, Daddy?
Okay, I will wait here quietly, I won’t move.
Please don’t be long.
*
Oh, there is that nice man again.
He seems to have had a terrible accident.
What a shame.
I wonder how long he will be in that wheelchair.
I probably shouldn’t have told Daddy that story.
It is so easy to make things up.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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65 Responses to Chocolate – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dahlia says:

    Oooh! Wasnt expecting that! Strangely, I thought ‘she’ was a ‘he’. I wonder why…

    Like

  2. rgayer55 says:

    I perceive a lack of remorse in her voice. A future politician, I suppose.

    Like

  3. Sounds an awful lot like the bad seed. Looks like she’s likely to grow up into Donald Trump. Better we run her over with that wheel chair before that happens! Nice switch.

    Like

  4. Where would a child get such a notion? Perhaps it is not her that is evil after all.

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  5. Margaret says:

    I wasn’t expecting that twist. Very good. The child’s voice is most convincing – I could just imagine the father’s responses as he heard the ‘story’.

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  6. Powerful last line this week CE. The child’s voice carries so much innocence until the ending. I wonder if this will be the last story she makes up or if there will be more? Will the consequences change her?

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  7. Good story, C.E. At least your little teller of lies didn’t have a father who carried a gun. She’s off to a really bad start. Good writing. —- Suzanne

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  8. YIKES … that’s an awful lie. It can’t even be categorized as a little white lie either.
    What a menace she is. Could have gotten her father in a bad situation. He might have been in the wheelchair. Oh my, it’s a good story when it leave the reader shocked. SUPER WRITE … as always.
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  9. I like the portrayal of a father’s rage that flows out of a father’s care!
    Good for you!

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  10. Indira says:

    You succeeded in surprising. Feeling sorry for daddy dear for having such an imaginative, naughty kid. Very well written.

    Like

  11. mandibelle16 says:

    Or maybe she just shouldn’t lie and “pretend” like that. It seems she enjoys making things up, no matter the consequence.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. mandibelle16 says:

    Ah my apologies. I wasn’t paying attention, that line changes everything. This kid made up the first story. Daddy beat up somebody, but somebody didn’t do anything to the kid. She cried wolf and Dad just might be in trouble now because of her lie. She should be carful about crying wolf.

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  13. Now, that’s downright evil. Left me with chills. Well done.

    Like

  14. wmqcolby says:

    WHOA!!!!!! Ohhhhhh … SNAP!
    Snap, snap, SNAP! That was DEADLY! I about jumped out of my seat on that last line.
    Congratulations, C.E. for this morsel of sinister and irony.

    Five out of five Willy Wonkas.

    Like

  15. gahlearner says:

    Ouch, this hurts on so many levels. Not your writing, of course, but the content. It also is an excellent argument against self-justice.

    Like

  16. michael1148humphris says:

    I am with Rochelle, plus I would have found it an interesting challenge no dilemma on how to read this aloud.

    Like

  17. mandibelle16 says:

    Interesting from the kids inoccent POV. Can’t blame the Dad, this guy was going to do something horrible to his daughter. Hope he stays put jail for his daughter’s sake. Nice write CE.

    Like

  18. What a devious little child… Like a true little Cathy Ames … I wonder why she popped up in my head.

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  19. Good and bad comes in all sizes doesn’t it? You played nicely with my emotions -as always.

    Like

  20. Dale says:

    What a wretched child! If Daddy finds out he told a tall tale…. I should think his bum should burn!

    Like

  21. Shawna says:

    Oh man, awesome ending. 🙂

    Like

  22. Lynn Love says:

    Oh, blimey. What a little devil! I do hope Daddy didn’t get into serious trouble over that – and the the nice man hasn’t sustained any serious injury. Just shows – kids are linked very closely with the Dark. 🙂 Great story C

    Like

  23. Ouch! I didn’t see that coming. Tremendous!

    Like

  24. Morgan says:

    Oh dear….though I would probably have reacted the same as Daddy. Stirring story, even as a twist on the prompt.

    Like

  25. Iain Kelly says:

    Excellent voice, the devious little stirrer!

    Like

  26. An interesting take on the prompt this week. It seems to have led us in all sorts of directions.

    Like

  27. Sandra says:

    I have come across highly imaginative boys and drama-princesses. This story left me feeling very uncomfortable, because it’s a thought that crosses my mind quite often when I’m reading some of the tack that graces the tabloids. Very well done, CE.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      If I can take you out of your comfort zone and make you think then I am happy, Sandra.
      One of the side benefits of living here is that I can forget that the ghastly red tops even exist!
      Thank you for your thoughts and kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. neilmacdon says:

    That skirts the very edge of what we can or should write. Survivors have had to struggle to be believed. And yet, of course, there are some who make it up. This left me very uncomfortable, which is the sign of good writing

    Like

  29. Dear CE,

    I don’t see a good future for that child. Devious little brat. On the other hand he might grow up to be a writer. 😉 Miss your voice, but it’s still there in your story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

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