Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s tale is by way of a small tribute, to celebrate her birthday.
The idea is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below.
© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Happy Birthday
I am late.
Today is her birthday.
I have beautiful purple roses, and a reservation at a restaurant I cannot afford.
Plus a ring in my pocket.
My boss, Monsieur Deschamps, is an inflexible, bad-tempered oaf.
Maybe my mind did wander slightly this afternoon, thinking ahead to this evening, but to keep me so long was unpardonable.
I am running through the streets.
I know she will be at the open window, waiting impatiently.
I am surprised when I turn the corner.
She is not there.
But a small crowd has gathered, looking down in silence.
The approaching siren wails.
And you take a happy story and turn it bad! Nicely done, but it looks like I’m the positive thinker this week.
Don’t blame me, Perry, I wasn’t the one hanging out of the window!
Well, this is one way to honor the hostess’ birthday… 🙂
Okay, Adam, it is like this.
I haven’t eliminated anyone for nearly 2 weeks, and I was getting a bit twitchy, so I just thought to myself:
If you’re gonna do it, do it big.
Ah well, she’s had a good run, yeah?
Dear CE,
It’s unfotunate he was late … very late, for a very important date. OMG .. I’m quoting the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland; maybe, this is a fiarytale. Well, he bought flowers, made a dinner reservation at a restaurant he couldn’t afford …. sounds like a fairytale to me. 😄
Seriously, this is a great story. Rochelle makes a wonderful muse.
Adios,
Isadora 😎
Thank you so much, Isadora.
As I remark elsewhere in these comments, I love long, rambling input like yours.
I take exception to only one thing, you use the word ‘seriously’.
Seriously laughing now!
LOL … you’ve described me well. Your writing mind has wonderful perception.
I’m happy I can pass along a little chuckle now and then. 😄
Oh, no! Well, of course, this can’t end happily. Once again, I am surprised by your twist at the end. I wanted her to have those purple roses. Nicely done.
To tell you the truth, Amy, the roses were a dumb idea.
She suffers from hay fever.
I am always very chuffed when I surprise my reader.
As Chubby Checker said, long ago, ‘Let’s twist again’.
Thank you for caring enough to comment.
Purple roses are never a dumb idea, hay fever or not. 🙂 I’ve never received purple roses!
What a shame.
They indicate love at first sight.
Really? I didn’t know that. I learn something new every day. 🙂
Well, if I read this right, at least he still has his job and he can return the ring?
No reason why he can’t have dinner too.
Maybe find a pretty lady to give the flowers to.
Hey, his day is turning out not so bad after all!
always something to be grateful for…
I was getting worried there, for a moment – I thought there was going to be a happy ending. I feared for the safety of our universe; the integrity of our space/time continuum. But gladly not. The body count continues 😀 great piece, as always!
Really?
Nah, haven’t bumped anyone off for ages, maybe two weeks, so m’lady Rochelle was a cinch to snuff it.
Thank you for your kind words, delighted you found it worthwhile.
Sorry, my comment seemed to have gone to the wrong thread. It shouldn’t have been a reply to Jennifer.
Don’ta worry pretty head, Gah, it’sa alla righta.
Why was I not expecting the twist? Well done as usual.
Must be your first visit, I guess.
Or maybe previously…
Gosh, I don’t know, why were you not expecting the twist?
I should have known better after previously reading your sound bites! But I still fell for the set up and expected a happier conclusion .
That was a shock ending. Phew!
That is kinda what I do, dear Nimi.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Yes, I did
I enjoyed the comments as much as the story! Way to a conversation started.
Well, that is nice, because I think the comments are rubbish.
So much for this week’s story.
I think next week is shaping up to a bloodbath!
Well then, I’ll enjoy that one just as well.;)
The purple roses were a nice touch as was M. Deschamps (schoolgirl French to the rescue). A very different birthday, very well told CE.
Cheers, Dee, if you enjoyed it then I am happy.
It appears your story was a big hit–in both good and bad ways. Well done!
janet
Thank you, Janet, it is hardly my fault she is so unbalanced!
😉
Here’s what really happened, Rapunzel Fields let down her hair so that Prince Charming could climb the curly stair, but it turned out to be a wig and it fell onto the sidewalk. A crowd gathered, thinking a bear or some other giant beast had succumbed to her charms. An animal rights activist called the police to have her arrested for killing the poor creature, thus explaining the siren.
It is fortunate that you can write, Russell, because your arithmetic is rubbish.
That was only a feeble 65 words!
And your story has more holes in it than your head.
Please note: No perruquiers were injured or killed in the making of this comment.
You’re right, C.E. I’m not Alfred Feinstein, that’s for sure.
Are you then Abacus Brineswine, the pig farmer/mathematician who developed 3.14159265359 new methods of curing pork?
Wow. I loved the story but was not too fond of all the comments. They ruined my ending, the ending I imagined. Her brains were splattered across the road? I’m glad you left that out of your initial story. But you are quite talented. I may have to read more of your work.
Hi Emilio, and welcome.
Please ignore the comments, they are not part of the story.
The story is 100 words, finished.
What I say in the comments are just off the cuff remarks to amuse, wind up or, in some cases, irritate the commenter.
I am glad you enjoyed the story and hope you will read more.
If you go to my Current Story page, you can hear me read a very short tale from my book, released a few weeks ago.
Thank you for visiting, and for taking the time to share your thoughts.
No, I undertsood about the comments. I was only joking around. I did like your writing and have just started my own writing blog. I hope to learn a lot by reading people like you. Thanks.
Okay, you got me!
Oh nooo! Such a sad ending.
Oh well, them’s the breaks.
Oh so tragic!
You never know, he might have had a lucky escape.
She might well have been a moody, purple-obsessed nag.
😯
I think the jealous other suitor Deschamps got there first and realising he was about to lose his prize decided no one else should get it. Hope your girl was saved, for Rochelle’s sake 🙂 Loved how you led us up the slope and dropped us off the cliff.
Gosh, poor M. Deschamps.
From conscientious employer to callous murderer in one casual comment!
He is an old dude, happily married with 7 or 8 children.
His lawyers will be in touch, JJ.
I’m sure the regulars of Ashley Madison are happily married men with happy kids 🙂
Alas, JJ, I have no idea who or what Ashley Madison is.
Oh, good ol’ Google.
A Canadian dating service?
I am even more confused now.
Google it. Let’s see how curious you are 🙂
Um, I already did, see above!
Sorry, I didn’t see the above. Let’s just say, there’s more to people / situations than meets the eye.
Laughing again.
I do agree, JJ, but M. Deschamps is my character!
Agree, and my imagination is my own 🙂
I found it very sad. I hope that Yolanda is right that she is helping someone who had a heart attack although I know the answer to that is no. He was late one time too many.
Alas, my dear Irene, you are right.
I did not mention to Yolanda that her brains were splattered half way across the road.
Ah, the impatience of young love.
Haha.
A lovely tale, I say he arrives to find her helping the poor man who’d had a heart attack. Happy ending for me!
You go for it, Yolanda!
I am happy that you cared enough to think of that,
I’m left speechless by your cleverness.
How wonderful, Dawn, almost the perfect woman.
Hmmm.
>:(
Poor guy, he’s never gonna get his dinner now! 🙂
I wonder if the roses will last till the funeral, or if they are a write-off too?
Ending certainly caught me out. Think I’d have preferred a happy ending. Who knows, maybe it will be yet.
Nah.
Had a happy ending last week.
That’s about it till November.
Uh oh!! Nice cliffhanger! 🙂
Great job!!
Thank you, Courtney, I am delighted you enjoyed it.
Oh no! (and such a lovely choice of name!)
Oh yes! (and for such a nasty man!)
Tough times. The gentle body belies the tragid ending.
I heard you the first time!
Tough story. The romantic first three quarters belie the tragic end.
Thank you, Patrick, I think!
Good to see you here again.
Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all…
tragic but well done. As usual the ending surprises but that’s totally pardonable.
Without the ending, dear Emmy, it is just me having a bad day!
As we say in France, c’est la merde.
I did not express correctly what I meant. Sorry. The endings are, of course, the story. You misdirect brilliantly and it is this misleading that is ‘pardonable’ because the reader is delighted/struck by the last line. and it is always worth it.
Merci, Emmy, but if you read the other comments, ‘delighted’ is not much in evidence.
Struck, perhaps, shocked, annoyed and disbelieving, certainly.
But hey, you know what Shakespeare says.
So… to celebrate Rochelle’s birthday, you kill her off? Do remind me not to get on your bad side, Mr. Ayr! 😉
As usual, very well done!
Would you prefer that I finished with:
‘We have a lovely evening until she laughs in my face and says not if you were the last man on earth’?
Nah.. you will not end a story on a high note, no matter what! 😉
Oh, now that ending has possibilities.
Hey, be nice…
I was nice. I could’ve said more. 😉
The tragedy of young, impatient love…That’s why my parents had bars on our windows. Even though we lived on the ground floor. 🙂 You managed to perfectly blend love, frustration and tragedy.
Very kind words, SFF, thank you.
I suspect your parents’ bars may not have been for the reason you suggest…
Dear C.E.
A story with impact. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thank you, Doug, that made me chuckle a bit!
Cheers
If she jumps out of a window just because you’re a bit late imagine the fuss if you forgot your anniversary – lucky escape if you ask me!
Thank you for visiting and commenting, Niki, but what makes you think she jumped?
She is an excited, in love, impatient, young lady on her birthday…
I’m all in favour of punctuality but suicide seems a step too far.
Good piece.
Glad you enjoyed, Mick, and I agree absolutely.
See my response to Belinda, below.
Or, in her case, Down Under!
Very touching CE. I liked the ‘purple roses’ touch. Fitting!
Thank you, Sandra, and well spotted!
And you speak French, I am sure…
Oh dear! Did she jump, fall or was she pushed?! Great story! 🙂
Thank you, Belinda, glad you enjoyed.
It is for the reader to decide, but a young lady, in love, impatiently waiting, craning (!) her neck…
I thought she may have jumped because she knew you were coming over … 🙂
Laughing aloud!
Thank you so much!
Big hugs
🙂
Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
AnElephantCant be trunk-tied
He always knows just what to say
Today it is simple
He thinks of her dimple
He sends Rochelle a big hug and a mammoth Happy Birthday
AnElephantCan be quite the tender pink gent.
Thank you. 😀
Dear C.E.
Such a tragic way to celebrate her birthday. My heart dropped out the window. Well done but so sad.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Apart from the very obvious birthday, did you spot the other two small references to your sweet self?
Hmmm…I caught the purple roses…
I suspect M Deschamps (Fields) had eyes on the prize himself. Not sure whether to root for the author or Jan though… Good story, C.E.!
OK, the story: Love it, starting out romantic, poor troubled lover, in a hurry (and your writing made me feel the hurry)–and then: splat. Dark and perfect ending, and I don’t believe in the craned neck. 🙂 What I thought was: He forgot my birthday. He doesn’t love me. Jump.
—
The comments: hilarious. I love the little puzzle about the references. You pro-fictioneers all seem to have a history and like each other very well, it’s fun to read the banter.
Hi, Gah, glad you liked the story, and quite happy for you to interpret it however you want to.
I am surprised at your view on the comments.
I don’t know any of these strange people, and have no desire to.
Anyone who has to write a 100 word story every week is clearly a weirdo.
Please don’t tell our exalted leaderess that I said this, okay, it is just our secret.
Thanks for visiting, I love rambling comments!
I’ve been rambling again, eh? Sometimes I need to be stopped, sorry.
Oh no, my dear Gah, I am being serious when I say I love rambling comments.
They are so much more fun than the usual dross.
If one of these days I manage to write a FF story with this as the title: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ledzeppelin/rambleon.html — you’ll know it’s just for you. 😉
Great song, I look forward to your version in 100 words. Shorter than your comments! Big hugs.