Back Streets – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant write his story yesterday
He hasn’t even got time for a very quick scrawl
He spends a wonderful day
Not too far away
On the beautiful Mediterranean island of Porquerolles

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Where director of traffic Rochelle leads a myriad of driven writers through the alleyways and boulevards of Fiction City.
And AWaywardElephant wanders wonderingly.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

copyright – Kent Bonham

copyright – Kent Bonham

Back Streets

These back streets are dangerous places for the unwary.
Her heels click rhythmically as she hurries through the seedier side of her city.
She is suddenly aware that she is being followed.
Her pursuer is closing rapidly.
She knows there have been a series of vicious attacks on women in the area.
She cannot run in this tight skirt.
She stops, backs against a wall.
He leers knowingly, reaches for her blouse.
He doesn’t even see her NAA Guardian pistol before the bullet passes through his left eye into his brain.
These back streets are dangerous places for the unwary.

Unknown's avatar

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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22 Responses to Back Streets – Friday Fictioneers

  1. misskzebra's avatar misskzebra says:

    My female character ought to have been as prepared as yours!

  2. zookyworld's avatar zookyworld says:

    Kudos for her to be wary — and well prepared. Well crafted to build the suspense, and give us a payoff with some justice for the predator.

  3. Eena's avatar Eena says:

    I thought AnElephant would show up, dance a little jig and give her time to escape. So happy she was very wary. Great wrap-up, great story!

  4. Well set up and good for her!

    janet

  5. Very enjoyable read!

  6. mike olley's avatar mike olley says:

    Wow, that was a pacy read. Great stuff.

  7. atrm61's avatar atrm61 says:

    Absolutely riveting and I just loved this lady with the gun, in high heels and tight skirt ;-)Excellent piece!

  8. Never trust a beautiful woman in a dark alley, darling.

  9. Adam Ickes's avatar Adam Ickes says:

    Lovely twist. I’d tip my hat to you, but I’m too lazy to go find a hat to tip.

    In unrelated news. I finally got around to finishing that elephant drawing I was working on. http://adamickes.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/charcoal-elephant/

  10. I enjoyed the clever way the panic was reflected in the rhythm of the sentences, Mr Elephant. An unexpected and brilliant ending. I loved reading this.

  11. Anja's avatar Anja says:

    And……another death…..I am going to start keeping track for future reference. hahaha

  12. Finally a turn with a turn, I can hear the sound reflection of the shot hollering through the alley, thats what I call a wakeup call, great stuff!

  13. Jan Brown's avatar Jan Brown says:

    I love the first and last lines, and the surprise in between. Well done!!!

  14. Great tale of revenge. Gleeful as it may be. I know this is a terrible thing to say, but sometimes these predators are just very sick individuals who need medication and not a bullet in the head. Sadly, they are out on the streets instead of in care.

    • camgal's avatar camgal says:

      Well in a situation of attack or be attacked I believe a bullet to the head works more effectively than pleading as you’re being violated. It’s a wonderful piece AnElephant, full of emotions- fear, confusion, struggle between morals and self preservation. You can only hope/pray the choice will never be one you have to make.

  15. RoSy's avatar RoSy says:

    You get what you get & you don’t have a fit!

  16. Al's avatar Al says:

    Fantastic. I guess he won’t do that again

  17. Dear Elephant,

    I love the way you brought the story full circle with the first and last lines. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  18. wmqcolby's avatar wmqcolby says:

    Like Forrest Gump says, “You never know what you’re gonna get.” This guy got it GOOD!

    Wonderful work, Elephant!

  19. Well done Sir Elephant, last time he’ll reach for the grope.

  20. Jem's avatar Jem says:

    If one will reach uninvited into a lady’s blouse one gets what one gets – Nicely done!

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