AnElephantCant really help it
His stories just seem full of gloom
This week he has tried
To see the bright side
But once again it is laden with doom
It is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
Copyright Janet Webb
Her dress hangs neatly from the balcony.
She does not care that the neighbours can see her standing in her underwear, her best underwear, worn specially for the occasion.
She is indifferent to the window-banging and catcalls from the nearby offices.
These things no longer matter.
The air-conditioning clatters and wheezes noisily.
The children – his children – run wild inside, loud and uncontrollable.
He snores in his chair, empty bottles at his feet.
She had been so stupid to fall for a widower’s lies.
No more.
She slips her dress over her head and skips happily off to a new life.
Ouch. Are a widower’s lies worse than anyone else’s? I’m glad she’s skipping away and you didn’t leave her there.
Out of AnElephant’s hands, really.
Glad you are glad she skipped!
A wonderful story here. I believe it did end up with a happy ending, no doom here my friend.
No, just the usual misleading heffelump!
Thank you!
well good for her! ^^
Thank you!
Sad, really. Well-told and rich in story!
Just a slice of life, as seen through AnElephant’s eyes.
Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment.
Always appreciated.
I thought she was going to jump from your verse introduction – very glad she didn’t. I imagine her new life will be fulfilling. Vivid descriptions, an enjoyable read.
Glad you enjoyed and apologies for all the porkies!
AnElephantCant help telling stories.
I wondered where you were going with this tale, but I am a sucker for a happy ending. Or is it?
Well done
Dee
AnElephantCant help being misleading
He somehow feels it’s a must
He really enjoys
When he annoys
And he hears his reader saying ‘Tsk, tusk’!
I hope it’s a better life. (RogRites)
Well, it is new and it is difficult to see how it could be worse!
Thanks for visiting and commenting.
I, for one, dug the last line!!! Well done!
AnElephant is grateful for your support and very happy you enjoyed!
It is too easy to promise the world and deliver a big lot of trouble. Good for her!
Thanks for dropping by and commenting, Joe, good to see you.
Not gloomy at all, she has learnt her lesson and will stay away from child-laden widowers in the future!
Ah, who knows, she is a flighty one, for sure!
And, as confessed below, AnElephant tells porkies in his opening rhyme.
I read it as though she were the dead wife saying goodbye to the man she’s left behind. The man who promised to take of the family, of her and who destroyed them all. NBut it was not as gloomy as all that, there was hope and new life in there as well.
Phew, heavy stuff!
AnElephant is not so deep.
And as he explains below, he likes to misdirect in his introductory rhyme.
Wonderful to see you here, thanks for your visit.
Pleasure.
As always AnElephant spins a tale that surprises and makes us wonder. A beautiful gown wasted on a dream that did not fly; a new beginning that is an end or an ending that is a new beginning. Let each reader decide.
The gift is that AnElephantCan make us read his 100 words more than twice and savor each one.
Bravo et merci pour cette petite histoire nebuleuse.
Merci, Emmy, tes remarques sont plus longues que mon histoire!
Mais UnElephant est tres content de t’amuser encore.
La prochaine fois 4 mots.:)
Wonderfully lucid. 🙂
Thank you, Mr Spinner, very glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you for visiting.
Let her skip over this way! Good story.
Thanks, Perry, you and she would get on well!
I have a feeling she’s going to jump. Otherwise it wouldn’t be gloomy. But then again maybe the gloom is because it’s his dress? (No just kidding). I really enjoyed this either way!
As explained below, AnElephant is an inveterate liar, especially in his intros!
She marries a millionaire and has seven screaming brats of her own.
Ha ha! So it is a tragic ending! 😉
You painted so vivid a picture of her world in so few words. You almost can’t blame her for running away though as a mom I’m kind of worried about the kids.
Glad the scene was real to you.
And the kids all go off the balcony after a ball!
Sorry, just made that up, not true!
The second oldest grows up to be President.
Yup not gloomy, unless of course you are the drunken widower who has to wake up to his own responsibilities, gloomy for him, maybe, and for his children.
Okay, so on second thought maybe it is a little gloomy.
AnElephant occasionally tells fibs, and even uses his intro to misdirect.
So sue him!
Interesting to see the different interpretations of readers regarding the skipping off. I thought she had chosen the fast route down, but now I’m not so sure.
Ah no, another misdirection, this time to a happier outcome.
A new life, not a sudden death!
Good. I love happy endings!
That’s what called marketing. There are worse kind of widowers… Just think of Bluebird
Absolutely right, Bjorn, but that does not mean she should stick with him!
Thanks for dropping by.
Hmmmm, gloomy? No. True to life? Sometimes! A happy ending, debatable, depending on her level of intelligence (which is questionable here)! Great story as always! 🙂 xo
Yeah, gloomy was a fib!
As is happily ever after, perhaps?
Glad you enjoyed.
Wow, talk about feedback in your comment section, holy cow! You are not glad I enjoyed, the nose grows and it shows! 🙂 xo
AnElephantCant help having a big nose
He never tells serious lies
But if Penny thinks so
Then it really must show
So he can only apologise
I snorted, but I don’t suppose you heard that. Although elephants do have amazing ears, however if I was in error I am the one who will apologize.
I have a lot of friends who are getting married this summer, and I hope none of them have to make this choice.
Tell them to steer clear of widowers with a large number of children!
Hope she’s not skipping over the balcony, darling.
No, no, m’Lady, she is off to a new life, full of glamour and champagne.
Maybe you’ll meet her there!
So, I loved the first two paragraphs. The last line, however, seemed too cheery for the rest of it. My gut reaction is that rather than skipping happily off to a new life, she ought to slip the dress on and take the fire escape to a new life (maybe – “Slipping the dress over her head, she took the fire escape to something better than this.”)
She just seems to jaded to skip or do anything “happily.”
What a truly bizarre comment!
AnElephantCant understand why you impose your own ‘jaded’ mindset on his character.
Since making her decision she has rediscovered her old joie de vivre, and dances out the door with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart!
She certainly does not sneak down the fire escape as though she were ashamed of herself or her actions.
But thank you for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated.
Head south lass! Never trust these widowers! She might fall prey again though…
She won’t listen to your advice, Yarr, but maybe she’ll land lucky next time.
Doomed no more! I like the use of sounds. I could hear the scene. – window-banging and catcalls, the air-conditioner’s clatter, wildly squealing children, snore of the oblivious, a clink as bottles at his feet fell over, and even the swoosh of the dress as it slipped over her head. She skipped out the door and not over the balcony, right?
Very glad that it all communicated with you, thank you.
And yes, a new life.
Sounds like she got way more than she bargained for with that marriage. I like the image of her skipping happily off.
Thanks, Dave, glad it left you feeling good!
I seem to have that very same problem with these prompts. I want to make a happy ending and it all goes south… Oh well, its all for fun, and your story was great! So what do we want? Happy endings or a well written story? It is the choice we make.
Well, if that is the choice AnElephant apologises for not doing a well written story!
Thanks for kind words.
Im glad she is skipping not falling. Great turn at the end
happy week Miss Elephant
Very kind of you, Ms Writer.
But AnElephantCant be a miss, always a hit!
I’ll be honest I was bracing myself for a graceful swan dive in her best bib and tucker. So glad she just left that lazy sod to look after his own kids! 🙂
Just say what you mean, why don’t you!
AnElephant is smiling at your comment!
Thank you.
-giggles- was it the ‘bib and tucker’ bit? I’m archaic you know. 😉
What an unexpected inspiration on the dress! She made a choice that will hopefully change the dreariness of her life into something better. Good job.
janet
Thank you, Janet, happy you enjoyed it.
Sometimes people can’t see what they are doing to other people. They don’t see the way that they are hurting the people that they love or the the ones that used to love them. So they have to take the plunge and start a new life, leaving everything behind.
This ends with a happy ending I think it is a great story
You have a kind heart, Alastair.
Thank you for your comments.
The kind people like to crush hehe.
You’re welcome as always my friend
I agree with Rochelle that she has chosen to turn the leaf. It is probably better than to have stayed. Great story!
Glad you enjoyed it, Hannah!
I thought this sounded like a wonderfully optimistic story. Go girl! Well done.
Thank you, Sandra, she is outta there!
Dear Elephant,
I’m not sure I’d call your story gloomy. Although her life had become unbearable you could say she made a happy ending for herself. Nice one.
shalom,
Rochelle
Friday Fictioneeers should all know by now that AnElephant’s long nose has Pinocchio-like qualities.
Thank you for visiting.