The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
Underground
The train thunders into Partick subway station.
During the seemingly interminable wait on the cold platform, the man, much older than his blonde, blue-eyed companion, was increasingly aware of the restlessness of the scattering of damp, impatient, would-be travellers surrounding them.
In Scotland, in bleak November, they had to seek some sort of sanctuary from the weather, but a taxi is, for him, seldom an option.
They board with barely concealed relief, find seats without difficulty, and sit close together, holding hands.
Now the pair scan the other passengers carefully, a surreptitious nudge drawing attention to this one or that.
There’s no sign of trouble.
The man relaxes, while his companion is still on edge, excited at this new experience.
Their interlocked hands are a source of comfort to both.
The man points upwards with his right index finger.
‘We must be under the river by now.’
‘The river?’
‘Yes. Do you remember what it’s called?’
‘The River Clyde.’
‘Ah, yes.’
He nods with apparent satisfaction, and leans back, reading the adverts.
A tug on his arm brings his gaze down to their reflections in the windows opposite, and the concerned expression gives him a momentary pang.
‘It’s going to be dark, isn’t it, and cold and raining? Will we have to go through the park?’
‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Everything’s under control.’
And a smile spreads across the face he loves above all others.
‘You asked mum to meet us at the station, didn’t you, grandpa?’
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Your clues worked brilliantly to lead me along – down the garden path. An older man with a much younger blue-eyed blonde, scanning the other passengers, ‘no sign of trouble’. I love where you took this, and a second read gives a whole other meaning to each of these clues. Lovely. I like this grandpa.
You are very kind, Margaret, as always.
And thank you for taking the time to read again to pick up my little nuances.
So heartwarming. Didn’t see it coming, of course, but so sweet and true to life.
Thanks, Sally.
He’s at uni now and still an absolute gem!
Nice one, you caught us all out with that lovely last line!
Laughing.
Delighted to succeed in my misdirection!
(scribbling notes in the hieroglyphics of fiction… ‘so, MC and secondary…but first, add a sub…text/tone in the setting…‘)
oh, sorry. didn’t see you come in!
lol
jenne stole my comment… but the sentiment is the compliment, seriously! the art of misdirection is surely as tricky as the setting a mood (only to have it be part of said misdirection)
good story
Thanks, Clark, I’ll have words with my co-conspirator about stealing your thoughts before you share them!
Glad you enjoyed.
How lovely! And yes, we see again – your misdirection strikes again!!
Thanks, Chris, I just do what I do!
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A lovely and touching surprise ending, CE.
Bravo!
Thanks, Nancy.
He is still a special part of my life.
Yet again the Master of Misdirection strikes.
The descriptions that bring the story to life and the hint of unease that insinuates itself…
Only to be dispelled by the warm and loving last lines.
Sitting here with a smile on my face.
I think my job is done here!
I love the musical prelude and postlude! It adds another layer to the story.
Thanks, Joseph, all part of the experience!
I love it.