The Clock – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
And, this week, she provides her own photo as the prompt.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Click here to hear the writer read his words:

The Clock

All I hear is the ticking of the clock.
Everything sounds louder here.
I am not trying to make excuses, but it’s true.
She wasn’t happy that we had a job.
Okay, just a cleaning job, not what we did before, but still work.
We do need the money.
But she just kept nagging, nagging, nagging, in that endless shrill screech.
I needed some peace, some time to think.
I did ask her, several times.
Now I sit quietly.
I think for a moment I can hear her heartbeat.
But no.
All I hear is the ticking of the clock.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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44 Responses to The Clock – Friday Fictioneers

  1. 4963andypop says:

    Great circular construction and last two revelatory lines. Leaves me to wonder what they were tasked with cleaning up.

    Like

  2. She sounds quite annoying.
    You’ve portrayed that well.

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  3. Great in the way you brought the story full circle, C.E. I’ve heard that kind of nagging. It drove him over the edge. The clock is a good comparison. Good writing as always. —- Suzanne

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  4. subroto says:

    I am sure he has ways to make it stop ‘tocking’.

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  5. Tessa says:

    Wonderful as always. I wanted to peek at what you read, but no I waited to hear it as you read it and the story builds.

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  6. Ouch! This is why it’s a bad idea for couples to work together!

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  7. James McEwan says:

    Full of sadness and regret. There is no turn back the clock, what has been done, cannot be reclaimed.

    Like

  8. Dear CE,

    The ticking clock at the beginning and end is effective.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  9. draliman says:

    That damn noisy clock is next…

    Like

  10. In all fairness, he did ask her and who could stand a nagging shrill voice? What else could he do but silence it? You built the story well as always!

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  11. Violet Lentz says:

    Some women never learn… Excellent tale, CE.

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  12. Abhijit Ray says:

    She should not have nagged you. But did you have to silence her, for good?

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  13. Blimey, she was noisy! Tic toc.

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  14. Oh to crave silence…. but in the end the clock was there as well.

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  15. Oops, I guess the toaster toppled into the bathtub while still plugged in. A shocking end for Nagatha Corpsey.

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  16. Your tale reminds me of ravens. Delightfully simple and yet so deep.😎

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  17. What a loop the story covered! I like the slow tempo and the final comeuppance. Evil is what i expect from you…oops..from your stories, dear Ceayr.

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  18. This is a great atmosphere piece and even creepier for the silence at the beginning and end of it.

    Like

  19. granonine says:

    Endless shrill screech. Just that description made me want to plug her mouth 🙂 I guess he found a way to do it.

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  20. Colline says:

    Final quiet and peace. Nicely done. I like the change of tempo in the piece.

    Like

  21. Iain Kelly says:

    I find often at the swimming pool people you would happily like to be rid of. They are not the place to go for quiet contemplation – unless you have the resolve of your main character to make it so.

    Like

  22. Now that was good – with a chilling undertone!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  23. Anita says:

    Clock ticks whether we are there or not, whether we hear or not.
    He wanted peace.
    Peace can be attained in many ways. But, first we need to be at peace with ourselves. Hope he hasn’t killed her…

    Just Keep Swimming – Anita

    Like

  24. Tannille says:

    Everyone has a breaking point.

    Like

  25. Sandra says:

    And meanwhile, the waters are calm and still in the pool. Around the seventh line I saw which way this was going. Still, he sounds like a reasonable soul, and I’m sure it wasn’t done on a whim.

    Like

  26. neilmacdon says:

    nicely rounded work, closing the circle

    Like

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