Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s chilly image comes once again courtesy of Roger Bultot.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Snow Fall
Sunday morning.
The sun clambers into view, casting long shadows.
The snow starts to melt.
As it has done for the past three days, before freezing again overnight.
Soon there is slush over ice, a dangerous combination.
The old folk on their way to worship totter carefully, leaning on canes and each other.
They are a cheerful old crowd, quite lovable in their way.
They say you can judge a society by how it cares for its elderly.
So why don’t the authorities grit the pavements?
Then my subtle nudges wouldn’t cause uncertain feet to slip, and hips to break.
He needs a spring loaded blade in his walking stick. For his own enjoyment of course.
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That would be downright nasty!
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Oh my…evil evil being!
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Oh my…a tad judgemental there, Dawn!
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I love your writing because I can never tell how the stories are going to end. Wish I had that gift. Great write!
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Thank you, Lisa, you are very kind.
My writing sometimes worries me for the same reason!
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Well done! Loved teh description! Enjoyed. Love it when authors read thier own works!
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Thank you, Roger, much appreciated
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Oh, the curse of a broken hip. Nice twist as usual.
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Yeah, not really very friendly, hmm?
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Subtle indeed!
I mean, your writing!💐
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Laughing.
Thank you!
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Ouch!
You never fail us.
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I like ‘Ouch! ‘.
Thank you, Sascha
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🙂
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Well-written, C.E. I was wondering when that evil streak was going to show up. The ending is a good place. —- Suzanne
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Not so much evil, Suzanne, just a bit twisted!
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I don’t know, C.E. Causing people to get broken hips to me goes over the line of twisted. Maybe it’s because my husband broke his hip in his 80s, didn’t want’ an operation, and suffered for three years. —- Suzanne
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Au début je me suis dit ( tiens peut-être un conte de NOËL puis à la fin j’étais avec le Grinch)
J’ADORE ! 😂
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Pas de Noël ici, Corine, et j’ai déja cassé la hanche du Grinch!
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I simply can’t wait until FF each week to hear your newest recording. I don’t even look ahead as I like listening to you read it and I know it is going to have a nasty ending no matter how nice it starts off.
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You are too kind, Tessa, it means a great deal to me that you enjoy the readings so much.
Do you know there are 2 more readings up top of this page, under Other Readings and Current Story?
And are you aware that my alter ego reads a poem every Saturday:
https://anelephantcant.me/2019/04/27/regret/
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No I wasn’t aware of that. Thank you, I will have to check that out. Not everyone can read effectively. You can. I could listen to longer pieces.
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Well I checked all of the above out. All very nice.
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Thank you, Tessa
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I know longer put down my guard, until that last sentence, but oh how you weave a sense of comfort–– and then shove us over! Again, each time I think that it would be fun to sit down with a cup of coffee, or a good red, and talk about writing, I realize you might slip some arsenic in there… just to watch me froth at the mouth! 😉 Always good writing, C.E., whatever the blows.
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This had me laughing again, Dawn, thank you.
It tends to be the ladies who use poison in my stories!
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Well that last line was quite a twist! A lovely piece of writing with a dark turn at the end… well done.
-Rachel
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You are very kind, Rachel, thank you for a lovely comment
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So many layers in the story. Cheerful seniors. Careless authorities. A cruel assailant who deliberately pushes elderly to injure them. Many emotions.
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Thank you, sir, I am pleased that it made you think a little.
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Oh boy, it was so nice up until the last line! I like how he’s managing to blame the council…
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As if wintery conditions weren’t challenge enough, you had to stick your mischievous thumb on the scale…that said, Ive experience that toppling feeling, been through the hip surgery: glad it’s done but I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
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Oops, sorry, hope it didn’t spoil your enjoyment of the story.
I’ll try not to tip you over again, okay?
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Thanks!
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I pay my taxes, sir, the pavements should be safer!
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At least he didn’t murder them this week. That last sentence adds the spice to the story.
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I don’t always murder someone, although there are still a fair few candidates out there!
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If it wasn’t for the snow you would have to go too less subtle method you evil man… does the hospital pay you for giving them business?
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Thanks, Bjorn, ‘evil man’ made me laugh!
And no, I just do it for fun…
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Oh boy, not sure what to think on this one, CE, you never disappoint. Fun hearing you read your story.
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Thanks, Ted, I appreciate that you take the time to listen as well as read.
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Great twist, I wasn’t expecting that. Like Rochelle, hope karma gets him in the end. =)
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You are not meant to expect the end, that is the whole point, Brenda!
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Good point. =)
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That’s pretty creepy. Apparently society needs to do more than just grit the pavement to guard against him. 🙂
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Laughing.
I guess so, David!
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The machinations and rationalizations of a sociopath!
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Perhaps, but a kinda lovable sociopath, hmm?
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Well, you certainly built up to your final sentence perfectly and with great skill. I saw you as a sympathetic character right up to the broken hips 🙂
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Then I am a happy bunny!
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I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And drop it did! They say ‘write about what you know’. Sometimes I wonder about you. 🙂
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LOL! I’ve been thinking the same thing about this charmer.
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Not sure I believe that, Dawn.
That you’ve been thinking, I mean!
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Yowza! Two jabs, two weeks in a row… I’ll need to put my armor on.
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Laughing. You’re safe, Dawn, just a wee bit fun between friends!
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Phew. 😉
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C’mon, Sandra, you know I am a sweetheart really, deep down.
Deep, deep, deep, down!
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Dear CE,
What a sly fellow. Perhaps Karma will cause him to lose his own footing on the ice. We can only hope.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You should know, m’lady, that I am a chameleon, so Karma is on my side!
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Ah, so you are to blame for me slipping over in my story!
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Nah, Keith, that was the Scotch, not the Scot!
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Now that’s just mean. It’s one thing to watch them all slipping and falling for amusement, quite another to instigate the falling! 🙂
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A wee bit mean, maybe, but really funny!
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You painted a picture with words. Captured a real wintery feel.
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Thank you, Tannille
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Ah there is a wee devil in there, love it x
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One tries, dear lady, one tries.
And welcome, always good to see a new face here.
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Yes, i too thought this is turning mushy. And then the evil popped out. Lovely misdirection. Great story, Ceayr.
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Laughing. Thanks, Neel, glad you enjoyed.
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As I read, this seemed almost sentimental. But then, I thought “no, not CE”. And I was right. Nice twist
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Thanks, Neil, you got me pegged!
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