Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week Bjorn’s great photo with its fabulous Stop sign reminded me of a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with Rowena and Varad.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Assassins Anonymous
Hi. My name’s Harry the Hatchet, and I’m an assassin.
Hi, Harry!
The welcome is surprisingly warm.
Especially since Harry is known to several of us.
I remember he chopped up Norrie the Knife’s brother a couple of years back.
Norrie is two seats along, scowling darkly.
But he’s never what you’d call sunny.
Okay, says Bobby the Bullet, anyone like to start?
Bobby runs the group since Bomber Billy blew himself up.
I stand.
C the Solver, I say, I used to kill for money.
I shoot Harry in the face.
Sorry, I say, sometimes I lapse a bit.
I agree with Athling the Atrocious, love the names. Love the dark humor. 🙂
LikeLike
I am just glad we are friends again, Sascha the Slaughterer.
I was concerned you might Strangle, Smother or Suffocate me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sincerely so! 🙂
LikeLike
It just occurred to me (yes, I’m habitually late in the thought process) that I’ve done nothing to earn this title.
LikeLike
I am confident, dear lady, that if you put your mind to it you will be successful at Slaying all and sundry.
I look forward to your first story of Sascha the Stabber.
LikeLike
Really good job. Love the way it was a story in dialogue.
LikeLike
Very happy you enjoyed, Lisa
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious! I love the names.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Athling the Atrocious
LikeLike
A perfectly executed story, one may even say a killer of a tale.
LikeLike
Boom, boom!
Or even Bang, bang!
LikeLike
Loved the lapse, though I’m sure Harry would beg to disagree.
LikeLike
Harry ain’t beggin’ much now, I’m happy to say
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great smoking barrels. And well that one way of reducing the need for prisons.
LikeLike
Thanks, Michael, some solutions are on the drastic side
LikeLike
Had to laugh… that was funny!
LikeLike
Then my work is done, Jelli!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, man, C., I’m gonna have to copy this down so I can pull it out and laugh, again and again… “Lapse a bit…” snorting laughter!
LikeLike
Ha. I love this! ‘Hi, Harry!’ Such fun. And I really enjoyed listening to you tell it.
LikeLike
Thank you kindly, ma’am, a comment like this makes it all worthwhile.
LikeLike
I hate it when people can’t control their baser instincts. It spoils it for everyone. But probably Harry is the one who’s had his evening ruined more than anyone else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh come on, Sandra, we are all flawed to varying degrees.
And Harry wasn’t the most agreeable of chaps anyway.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved the dead pan humour in this. I wonder if there will be a sure cure for addictive behaviour that would ensure no one lapses, then Harry would still be with us. But the very nature of the group it may suffer from diminishing attendance.
LikeLike
I like ‘dead pan’, wish I’d thought of it earlier!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a gang! I enjoyed the Ocean’s series but this would also be fun to watch – AA (Assassins Anonymous). 😀
They are the hysterical hunters. Their names made me laugh but I shouldn’t. 😉
LikeLike
Yes, you should.
Just because it is a serious tale of bloody carnage doesn’t mean you can’t have a chuckle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! Love it. The idea of AA (assassins anonymous) and then the killer who can’t quite kick the habit – really great. Had me smiling
LikeLike
The chap is trying, Lynn, we are none of us perfect, hmm?
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
I think it’s going to take more than a 12-Step program to help this bunch.
LikeLike
Even then you have to watch out for Cha-cha Charlie, the Chinese Chopper
LikeLike
Your amusing tale ended with quite a bang! Nice one
Click to read my 100 Word Story!
LikeLike
It did for poor Harry!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well bury the Hatchet then! Funny story, and sounds a bit like a riddle. Seems to me C the solver was hired by Norrie to kill Harry. Bury the Hatchet.
LikeLike
C is actually not a bad chap, perhaps a tad impetuous, that’s all
LikeLike
Oh! The names and evidently C the Solver has solved yet another problem?
LikeLike
That’s my job, dear Alicia
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha – I love the names… very funny 🙂
LikeLike
What do you call your friends, Anna the Anthropophagus?
LikeLike
Ha.. I assume that the size of the group might shrink quickly…
LikeLike
Members come and members go, Bjorn.
I admit I feel somewhat guilty, not sure that my story did justice to your fabulous photo.
But I saw ‘Stop’ and my mind just went off, I’m sure you know that feeling.
LikeLike
Now, that was Funny!!!
Scott
LikeLike
Thanks, Scott, a few more laughs than the Saturday Sob, hmm!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!
LikeLike
I think these chaps would love Friday Fictioneers – after all they haven’t got the time to read anything much longer before somebody else gets despatched to his maker!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The comments here are funnier than the story!
LikeLike
Love that last line. Amazing that a story about such gruesome characters can be so funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gruesome characters?
Perhaps a bit misunderstood…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I imagine the membership is quite exclusive and life expectancy quite short. Great fun.
LikeLike
I feel sure you are correct on both counts, Iain.
But there are no restrictions on age, gender, race or religion, so expect the Senile Slayer, the Curvaceous Killer and the Hindu Hitman to saunter in soon.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Teehee! “Sometimes I lapse a bit”! Nicely constructed tale, CE.
LikeLike
Teehee?
You are not a well lady, are you, Penny?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yay! The Assassins Anonymous is official. Nice one, CE. Loved the twisted humor in this one.
LikeLike
Glad you like it, Varad, your words were an inspiration!
It could be a series, I guess.
LikeLike
Time lapse for ‘sorry’, but execution is perfect 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Anita.
But I don’t understand the first part of your comment.
LikeLike
You have a dark, dark soul
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s probably my best fault, Neil
LikeLiked by 1 person
A murderer’s story, as you tell them so well. Have you committed many?
LikeLike
Not compared to, say, Stalin or Pol Pot.
Happy you enjoyed, m’lady.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One murder is a tragedy, a million is statistics… you might be somewhere in between at the moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person