Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s prompt comes courtesy of Dale Rogerson, and makes me think of happy families.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Dale Rogerson
Click here to hear the author read this 1-minute story:
Home
Sometimes I pause outside, just for a moment.
Through the window I can see my wife and children, doing the things that families do.
I see them laughing, clowning around, having fun.
They look happy.
I feel a surprisingly warm glow inside.
Because I know they are not always like this.
Sometimes they are sad.
My wife, especially, reflects on what has happened, on what might have been.
I turn my key, step inside.
The laughter stops.
The kids slip silently away to their rooms.
My wife smiles bravely, as she always does.
‘How was your day, dear?’ she asks.
Sound Bite Fiction 
This is so heartbreaking.
A touching story.
LikeLike
Glad it spoke to you, Dawn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very nicely told CE – a heavy subject approached with a light touch. What has he done to be the cause if the tension? Can he make amends? The fact he recognises his culpability and still has love for his family suggests there may be a happy ending somewhere down the road.
LikeLike
Thank you for your thoughts, sir.
You ask several very pertinent questions.
I am impressed by your optimism.
Good to see you here again.
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
I like the perspective from his POV. AS others have said, it seems as if he is the cause of tension and fear in the home, as the kids slip away quietly. I wonder why he feels surprised at the warm glow on seeing his family happy? Does he not usually feel tenderness towards them? Warm, cosy family with a twist at the end. Nicely done!
LikeLike
Thank you, Fatima, for taking the time to share your thoughts, much appreciated.
Your questions are very valid, and your observations are correct.
LikeLike
Chilling. It seems to me that he’s the cause of their sadness, but he can’t help himself… sad.
LikeLike
Exactly so, Luccia.
Thank you for your comments.
LikeLike
I sense he knows he’s the cause of his families sadness, but wonder if he really cares.
LikeLike
I sense you are spot on, Alicia
LikeLike
Excellente! Loved it C,e,! I can just picture the father looking in the window at his family. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Jelli, glad it worked for you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Daddy’s home! Let the fun end and the tension begin.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A situation which sadly exists all too often, Russell
LikeLike
Interesting to read all the interpretations. Not clear to me who is the victim and of what. A chilling ambiguous piece and a stunning lingering read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great comment.
I love this, it seriously makes writing worthwhile.
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many stories behind this… I hope it’s not domestic abuse.
LikeLike
Thanks for visiting, Bjorn, just found your comment in Spam.
LikeLike
Perhaps he requires some serious counselling. And our empathies. Brilliant writing Ceayr.
LikeLike
Thank you, Neel, I think you are right on one count at least.
LikeLike
That’s chilling C. The man seeing almost from outside himself, realising his presence is the cause of his famiy’s sadness. Gripping and disturbing
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you are as close as anyone with your grasp of the situation, Lynn.
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for writing it, C – a perfect, cold little package
LikeLike
Firstly, CE this was exceptionally well written and spooky mysterious. Haunting, Indeed, at first I though he was a ghost, especially after reading Michael’s piece set at Pendle Hill.
Sometimes, it is easy to forget the complexities of humans and that our heroes aren’t all good and our villains aren’t all bad. Well, if we are seeking authenticity when developing our characters, they shouldn’t be. I personally feel this guy has redeeming qualities and deserves the benefit of the doubt. He might have had a rough childhood himself. He might’ve lost his job and he’s feeling his back up against the wall and his family are bearing the brunt of his frustration. Perhaps, he grew up in an orphanage and doesn’t know what it means to be part of a family and interact properly, but I certainly get the sense that he wants to be part of their world.He wants to make things right but he’s trapped in somethin such as childhood abuse.
Well done!
xx Rowena
LikeLike
Thank you, Rowena. You are evidently a kind and forgiving lady, and I am not convinced the narrator deserves your empathy. But your interpretation is as valid as any, given that you have only 100 words to work with.
I am happy and amazed to have generated so much emotion.
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think your character has just enough insight to work on the situation and there’s some hope here, but he’s going to need to start small and prepare for a long road to regain the trust of his children. His wife, to me, seems like she might understand why he is the way he is and is hanging in there but only just.
The ambiguity you’ve generated here really is a triumph!
LikeLike
Oh this is an amazing piece of writing. It’s not often we sit inside the perpetrator’s head and it left me recoiling and disgusted that I was there for even a moment. I used to work in a women’s refuge and no time was wasted on considering the viewpoint of the violent men or their reasons for the abuse. All our energies were put into rebuilding the usually broken women and children who arrived at the door. There is no justification for such systematic abuse – although I do appreciate rehabilitation and support for offenders is important in our society too – in my opionion their actions can never be condoned or understood. Thank you for a brilliant piece. It’s amazing what can be achieved in those few words – it was absolutely chilling.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Having listened to you read it and also reading some of the comments, all kinds of other scenarios are running through my head. Perhaps. it is something more subtle than abuse, as Penny suggests below. Perhaps he does deserve my understanding. This makes the piece all the more impressive though!
LikeLike
First of all I am very happy with your words of praise, Anna. Thank you for that, sincerely appreciated.
Secondly I am less happy that I have struck such a nerve. While I obviously want to cause a reaction, I do not like to cause distress.
Your comments are all very valid, and I am hugely impressed by how you worked through your immediate revulsion to try to understand the narrator.
Because of what you have said, taken with some of the other comments, I plan to revisit this story after a period of contemplation.
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do feel strongly about the subject but I’m not distressed by it – so please don’t worry about that. I think Art, in whatever form it comes in, has a place to make us uncomfortable and offer perspectives we might not be accustomed to. I think this is a very powerful piece – you hit on something here… in my opinion anyway. I think you should definitely consider submitting for publication in other places. It really works as a piece of flash fiction as is. Although it would be interesting to see how you can develop it, I wonder if it might lose something in the process of writing more? It’s worth seeing though.
Sorry for being so vocal! I really ‘enjoyed’ (well appreciated) this piece 😃
LikeLike
Please don’t ever apologise for being vocal here, it is just great to get this sort of reaction to such a short piece. I agree that art should provoke, of course, you are absolutely right about that.
I often consider developing these limited word challenges, and sometimes I do, but I am not sure I have the courage to extend this. I will let it percolate, see what happens.
Thank you again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Scary, grim, and excellent.
LikeLike
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, sir!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a sorry situation. He clearly knows he;’s doing wrong but is unable to do anything about it.
LikeLike
Indeed, Keith. But unable or unwilling?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am imagining him to be a man who has very violent outbursts of rage , once in a while . His family lives in terror of sudden re-surfacing of his ugly emotion and hence keep their interaction to a minimum . It looks like he is totally incapable of controlling it when it attacks him.Though, of course, my assumptions may be wrong.
Superb storytelling.
LikeLike
Fascinating analysis, Moon, and a very valid possibility. We know that these situations exist too often, for too many reasons.
Thank you for your kind words.
LikeLike
Starts so bright and cheery and then goes on to a pretty dark place. Nicely done.
LikeLike
Thank you, I am happy that it spoke to you.
LikeLike
A poignant reminder of reality for so many behind closed doors. Things aren’t always what they seem and there exists a lot of complicated brokenness within families. Thank you for this well written, thought provoking piece!
LikeLike
Thank you, Brenda, for your thoughtful comment. And everything you say is pertinent, and sadly true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You left a lot up to the imagination. Wonderful as always
LikeLike
Thank you, Susan, you are very kind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can only echo the other comment, you left me wondering,
LikeLike
Wondering is cool, Michael, in 100 words it is not easy to tell the whole story.
LikeLike
Very well written indeed. A beautiful balance between telling us too little and stimulating our imagination. I have a feeling that he wants to be part of a loving, normal family, but something is stopping him. It’s more subtle than straightforward abuse, I fancy.
LikeLike
This is really interesting Penny – perhaps there is more subtle grievances that caused the behaviour of his family and not straight forward abuse as you say. It does get you thinking.
LikeLike
Hi Anna, I will reply to your main comment above, but I appreciate, no, I love, how involved you got with this short piece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for these words, Penny, this is what makes writing worthwhile. And you are right, there is nothing too straightforward here.
LikeLike
Oh, that’s quite scary. I initially thought he might be dead, but the reality was obviously worse than that.
LikeLike
Scary is good, thank you!
And yes, much worse than death.
LikeLike
He needs to ask himself- is he the reason of their behaviour-change?
Happy Valentine’s Day!
LikeLike
My first smile in these comments!
Thank you, Anita, I am way beyond Valentine’s stuff, but you made my day.
And your point is very valid, though I suspect he knows the answer.
LikeLike
Seems like Hubby/Daddy has been bad. His wife understands the need for forgiveness and redemption but the kids haven’t come that far.
LikeLike
Interesting, James, that you read it like that.
I love how 100 words can generate so many different views and emotions.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, my. Conjures up all sorts of possibilities.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, my. Yes it does, and not many of them are good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All the more grim because of his self-awareness of the situation, and it seems his reluctance to change. Expertly written.
LikeLike
Thanks, Iain, your praise much appreciated.
And your reading of it is spot on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Left open for interpretation and whatever the reason for the change as his key turns in the lock.
LikeLike
Ah yes, because each of us has a different fear…
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was wonderful, and all the better for being unexplained. Beautifully written, and I felt so sad for him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sad for him? It left me furious at him and disgusted – interesting how we can respond so differently.
LikeLike
Isn’t it though?
I can almost hear you spitting your repugnance.
Thank you so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is interesting. It can be read all sorts of ways. Perhaps he hasn’t done anything wrong. I love stories that reflect ourselves and our own assumptions back at ourselves.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Claire, praise from Caesar!
Sad is interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant narration, CE. Seems like he’s not in control of himself.
LikeLike
Thank you, Varad, I like your view of it.
LikeLike
Aw, this was heartbreaking. There’s so much going on within this family that I want (need!) to know more about them. Well told.
LikeLike
Glad it pulled you in, TUS, but no more for now…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m reading this as domestic abuse. And the idea that the perpetrator could observe and enjoy the happiness that exists before he makes an entrance is totally chilling. Well done.
LikeLike
Thank you, Sandra. Chilling is good!
LikeLike
Dear CE,
Sad situation…to dwell in what might have been. Perhaps a counseling session or two might help. Nicely done…good scene setup.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Thank you, m’lady, as you say looking back is not the way forward.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s grim but beautifully painted
LikeLike
Thank you, Neil, high praise, much appreciated.
LikeLike