Sunday Photo Fiction is a weekly challenge presented by my old friend Al Forbes.
The idea is to write a short story (200 word max) inspired by what you see in the picture (below).
This week Al provides us with an extremely interesting photo. I admit to having no idea what it is, so I just wrote a story.
Click on this link to enter your tale, and to see what others have written.
Note: This week’s story is outwith the scope of my oratorical skills.
Fairground
Come on, Mum, don’t be scared!
No, I’m sorry, there’s no way I’m going up in that thing.
But, Mum…
Definitely not, it doesn’t look safe to me.
Mum, I’ll get a hard time at school if I don’t go on it, the guys will call me a scaredy-cat, make me fight again.
Well, I don’t know, maybe just you?
Mum, that’s not fair! If Jimmy can do it, Timmy and me are big enough too! If Dad was still alive he’d let us go on it, definitely. He always said not to be frightened of anything.
Oh that’s not fair either, Tommy, you know I miss your father as much as you do.
Sorry, Mum, but you know he’d want us to.
Yes, okay, but not me, I’ll wait over there where it’s quieter, wave to you.
Thanks, Mum, you’re the best!
* * *
Al Forbes, small-time local criminal, was today found brutally beaten to death at the site of the old Dover Fairground. Forbes spent most of his life in and out of jail after being convicted of fatally stabbing a mother of three during a failed robbery attempt on this same spot almost twenty years ago.
Oooh you’re evil to me hahaha.
Loved the story CE.
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Very tragic indeed. Did they catch this criminal? At least the boys seem like they will be able to help take care of each other as long as this criminal is locked up 😉
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I thought you’d written this nice sweet story until I saw that last paragraph. Silly me.
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Love the story CE. Revenge would have been as sweet as the candy floss the boys might have enjoyed on their first visit.
I think I see now why you said Al had been “brutally” beaten to death, but at first I thought the adverb was superfluous. I had an enjoyable few seconds imagining the scene with other adverbs like “gently” or “kindly”. My favourite was ” nonchalantly”.
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Love the comment, JS. I agree ‘nonchalantly’ is an excellent word, but not too apposite for the beating 3 boys might apply to their mother’s killer after a long frustrating wait. I am now wondering whether ‘brutally’ is superfluous, or whether I should have used sadistically, cold-bloodedly or callously. Ho hum, the trials of a struggling scribe.
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After thinking about it, I didn’t think the “brutally” was superfluous. At first I thought that beating someone to death was about as brutal as you could get, but then I realised it was valid to say something about the way the beating was done. A single well-aimed blow to the head with a hammer might prove fatal, but I suppose that would be “clinical” rather than brutal. The brothers would no doubt have felt compelled to go about their task brutally, so you were right to include the adverb.
By the way, after struggling hard toprovide an example of a nonchalantly carried-out grievous assault, the nearest I could think of was the scene in Reservoir Dogs where Mr Blonde tortures a police officer while Stuck in the Middle With You is playing in the background (but that was pretty brutal too).
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The boys did what their father would have done had he been alive when their mom was murdered. Brilliant. What an innovative leap is this. Outstanding, Ceayr.
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You are too kind, Neel, I am happy that the story worked for you.
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Invoking the ghost of dad is doubtless an old trick with young Timmy. Wait until he discovers booze!
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Tommy, in fact! But did you read the whole story?
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I assumed Tommy was taking pointers from his little brother. Once you add “my” to a name, it doesn’t really matter anyway, does it? I read the footer about Al. I didn’t know it pertained. The boys get a good start in borstal and wind up small time anyway. That’s the breaks, Timmy.
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Okay, this story clearly did not work for you. The irony of the last paragraph is the key part, the whole point of the tale. And the boys did not go to borstal, I am not sure why you think that. But thanks for reading.
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I see it now. The mother is murdered while she waits for the boys to finish their ride. Later, the boys get their revenge by beating up the robber who has spent the interim in and out of jail. Is that closer to the mark?
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By George, I think he’s got it!
Just slightly more than beating up, but Al always deserves it!
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Whoa! Brilliant ending there. And guess, I’ve heard that convict’s name somewhere 😀
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Glad you liked it, Varad, I did promise him I’d bump him off this week!
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Mums are always the best.
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Thanks, Michael, but did you read the whole story?
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Great ending!
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Merci, Madame La Sirène Magique. Happy you enjoyed..
S’il te plait, dis hello à Henri.
Bisous
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I don’t know what the picture is of either, but I agree that it’s something plenty of moms and dads wouldn’t be keen to go up in!
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Thanks, Joy. Did you read the whole story?
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Yeah, but it lost me a bit. After reading it a couple more times… So, Mom didn’t go on the ride, and because of that she was in the wrong place and she got murdered by our friend Al, and then twenty years later, Al got murdered on the same spot? I’m not seeing the connection. Am I supposed to assume that the child went back, lured Al to the same spot, and killed him?
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Yep, poetic justice. The boys grew up and did what boys do.
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