Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
Today’s photo by Roger Bultot would normally induce a shiver, but I am just back from Scotland so I am immune to cold!
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
© Roger Bultot
Click here to hear me read this 1-minute story:
The Bath
I am not really a bath person.
Probably because I am so impatient, maybe even impetuous.
I prefer to shower.
I only decide to have a long soak when my aches become too much for me.
And today is icy cold, painfully so, depressingly so.
But I am warm here, my old bones are at ease, and my troubles seem much less important.
At this moment I can hardly remember her face, her hair, her beautiful brown eyes.
Well, I am starting to drift a bit now.
And feeling the effect of the wine.
The water is a pretty pink.
Sound Bite Fiction 
CE, this made me feel so sad. How terrible he was so desperate, had nothing to live for,or thought no one cared about him. That last line is grizzly, I hope though when he gets to the other side, the woman he’s dreaming of is there to meet him. Hugs CE, I hope you enjoyed your week, I have lots of catching up to do reading your pieces so you will have many comments to ponder this weekend 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The final sting in the tale – excellent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Dahlia
LikeLiked by 1 person
You successfully took us all inside his head, C.E. That ending twist violently shook us out. Another case where elderly depression ended tragically. Good writing as usual. —- Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you again, Suzanne, it is always a joy to read your thoughtful views
LikeLiked by 1 person
Terribly sad ending….or is it?
Thank you for teaching us to reach into the mind.
– Lisa
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am hugely flattered by your comment, dear lady, but suggest that your mind has the ability to teach itself
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was about to agree with the bath/shower thing and then….!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Behave yourself, woman, this is unseemly talk in mixed company
LikeLike
LOL…you should have reads that i cut in the edit! 😉
LikeLike
This is perfection, CE. The story (and the way you read it) lull the reader into that same sense of release. I drifted. And the, the pink water shocked me back. I try not to read the other comments, until I post mine. I wonder if others found it so disturbing? I panicked for just a moment, and then remembered that it’s fiction. The voice is perfect for this one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, thank you, Dawn, high praise indeed.
As you know, I am sure, a writer lives for such compliments.
And it is good to know that the rickety old brogue still has its uses!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very well done. You built it up and then the last line just echoes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sascha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another brilliantly paced and well written story with a killer ending. (Pun unintended)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy it worked for you, Michael
LikeLike
I should’ve known that the pretty pink in the bathtub meant a death. I’ve been away in Tasmania for three weeks and have got out of the groove, which is interesting given that we went to Port Arthur….a brutal convict settlement. That yells Friday Fictioneers!
Wifi was really bad in Tassie so I’m still writing up about the trip but planning to get back onboard next week.
Best wishes,
Rowena
LikeLiked by 1 person
Always a pleasure to have you visit, Rowena, whichever part of the world you are in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could say that I’ve currently living in a firery furnace but I live on the coast just North of Sydney.
LikeLike
The same vein runs through the entire block this week. Your telling of your stories gives them a familiar quality that draws the reader/listener in, and I love the rhythm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very kind words, Honie, thank you so much
LikeLike
A gently way to go, and he sounds as if he’s ready.
LikeLike
Indeed, Liz, the end of his rope
LikeLike
oh! did not see that last line coming! Glad he at least had the wine 🙂
LikeLike
Laughing at your priorities, Samantha!
LikeLike
hey, the little things are important!
LikeLike
A sad but sensitively written tale. Rosé bath water.
My story is called Stardust
LikeLike
Thanks, Keith
LikeLike
You lifted me out of my chair and you had me visiting a room that you invented, where I witnessed something that I can understand but not approve of. What a beautiful and sad take on the prompt.
LikeLike
What a wonderful comment, thank you very much for this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohh…this was lovely, it was almost as if the individual words floated on the surface of the water you spoke of.
LikeLike
How very kind of you, Jade, I am happy that my words reached you in that way
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was completely identifying with that until the end.Very sad.
LikeLike
Like the song says, Suicide is painless…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for letting us float along – for a while. I, too, understood what was happening within that last line. Kudos.
LikeLike
Thank you, Alicia, glad it worked for you
LikeLike
Oh how very sad. I got it! Beautifully written.
LikeLike
Thank you, Clare, and well done.
I am glad someone is awake here!
LikeLike
At least he’s considerate enough to limit the mess for whoever has to clean up. Of course, there’ll be that nasty ring around the tub to deal with.
LikeLike
The rubber gloves are under the sink beside the white gunky stuff and the wee rough sponge.
LikeLike
The last line is just right. Subtle and poignant;
LikeLike
Thank you, Jane, I am happy it worked for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh you… allowing us to drift along, only to leave us in tears that he couldn’t survive without her… I had no doubt the pink was the narrator’s blood…
LikeLike
Just be happy the water isn’t yellow, Dale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is that…
LikeLike
Naughty Step for you, Russell, comments about piddling and pooing are verboten on this blog.
That is AnElephant’s domain.
LikeLike
Probably reading too much of AnElephant’s poetry, his Saturday Sob has me slashing my wrists on occasion!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe… well have to send that Elephant some love!
LikeLike
You had me drifting along nicely and then bang, tragic ending and yet peaceful too
LikeLike
No drifting here, Siobhan, there is usually a rude awakening
LikeLike
I did not see where you were leading me. My heart broke with his.
LikeLike
Oh no, it’s just a story, honestly!
LikeLike
I know but it still moved me.
LikeLike
Oh, that last line! You pulled me in and for once, I thought the ending was just going to be calm and sweet … Should have known better. 🙂 Great set up and pay off C
LikeLike
Really, Lynn, I thought there were plenty of clues.
But happy to have caught you out!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! 🙂
LikeLike
Nice if horrifying twist at the end.
LikeLike
Thank you, James
LikeLike
Wow. Brilliant. Your reading even more so. This line, “when my aches become too much for me,” a great foreshadow. And…the drifting away, the effect of wine, the picture of simply slipping away from life, releasing all that pain–due to love. Terrific. Big star this week. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Kecia, what a lovely comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Incredible, C.E.! One of your gems. Of course, I was ready with the earphones to listen to the narration. Superb! At first, I thought the pink came from the wine spilled into the water, but I read it again and again. Got it, finally.
Five out of five bleeding elephants. 😉
LikeLike
Far too kind, Kent, thank you.
But 5 Elephants, how big do you think this bath is?
LikeLike
They’re pink, they don’t exist, so the sky’s the limit.
LikeLike
Who doesn’t exist, BigNose?
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Ouuu, what a way to go. Good one, CE! Loved it! 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
Thank you, dear lady, happy you enjoyed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Looks like he’s dying in his bath. He is attaining his peace, finally?
Good one!
LikeLike
Exactly!
And thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll echo the “Well done” of the others. That wine has definitely taken effect — next thing he’ll be seeing pink elephants. Or perhaps you had a more sinister pink in mind? Great job leaving the end open.
LikeLike
Thank you, Christine, definitely a more sinister pink.
And more than the end is open!
LikeLike
Très beau 🙂
LikeLike
Merci, Gys, et bisous
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think his sadness is leeching out into the water. I wasn’t expecting the ending. You’d think I would after all this time, wouldn’t you? Good one.
LikeLike
More than his sadness, Sandra!
This clearly did not work as I had hoped.
Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
No I knew what you meant. I thought his sadness was his own blood seeping away from him, as opposed to the blood of his victim.
LikeLike
Dear CE,
Such a lovely, warm tale until the last line. Could it be that he’s washing the blood off his hands? Color me confused, too.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Ah, how surprising, m’lady.
I thought I had made it far too obvious with a multitude of clues, but clearly not.
Depression, broken heart and alcohol were just the most blatant until we reach the blood.
Ah well, some you win…
LikeLike
That was my next thought. I should’ve voiced it. Still a winner of a piece. 😉
LikeLike
Hugs
LikeLike
A masterful C E Ayr sting in the tail
LikeLike
Thank you, Neil, very kind.
LikeLike
Oh sad. I feel the loneliness and longing to go to his lost love.
LikeLike
Thanks, Joe, but escaping the pain is the only option, of course.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too, the pretty pink stumped me. Beautiful lines Ceayr.
LikeLike
Thank you for your kind words, Neel, the pretty pink is the narrator’s blood.
LikeLike
Beautiful piece, beautiful ending.
LikeLike
Thanks, Iain, I think you got it okay!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I certainly did
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gorgeous!!! I’m not quite sure what you mean by the pretty pink, but I’m guessing it’s a sad ending 😦 (well, maybe relieving for him). I listened to you read the piece and you read it so well… makes it much more poignant hearing your voice. Well done!
LikeLike
Hi, Jessie, and thank you, glad you enjoyed story and reading.
I think you guessed correctly that the pretty pink is the narrator’s blood.
LikeLike