AnElephantCant work without broadband
He is still without it today
So bear with him please
He is almost on his knees
He hopes that by Friday he can come back out to play
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time, with our exalted leader the legendary Rochelle.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it, really.
You can follow the link and read lots of of really good stories by really good writers.
And AnElephant’s.
Bedroom
The tinkling of the wind chimes causes the panic to grasp her throat again, the first time in months.
She knows she has been overly protective of her five-year old daughter since the violent death of her husband two years ago, but she reaches the bedroom in four long steps.
Who opened the window, sweetheart, she asks, trying to stay calm, but hearing the tremor in her voice.
Silly Mummy! Daddy, of course, like always!
Her nerves are on edge, her eyes everywhere.
So where is Daddy now, angel?
I’m right here, my love, his voice answers from behind her.
Chilling, sets the scene perfectly for the talking poltergeist! 🙂
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Nice and creepy. Would love to know what mummy does next – scream, faint, jump out the window? 😉
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Well, actually, AnElephant can tell you.
Oh oh, there is Rochelle, and she beats him with a sparrow’s feather if he uses more than 100 words!
Glad you enjoyed.
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I don’t mean to be rude, but can AnElephant feel the kiss of a sparrow’s feather?
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The wind chimes in the room are such a great way to show how paranoid she is of break-ins. I love the last line. It took me by surprise.
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Thanks, David, very kind of you, sir.
AnElephant loves to surprise!
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Children always seem to be unfazed by ghosts. I suppose we grow to suspect them as we get older. I really liked this story. I wonder if the mom will accept daddy as easily as the child? Hmmm probably not. 😉
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Acceptance of the unusual is more natural for a child, for sure.
Thanks for taking the time to drop by.
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I’m still thinking about the violent death of the husband, who killed him and why…
Great scary story, well done elephant
Dee
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Thanks, Dee, but don’t think about it too long, it is nearly next week now!
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The dad is sure to be a nice guy. scary story
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You are so sweet, always thinking the best of everyone!
Thank you, Nightlake.
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Woahoo – argh! I liked the whole flash and thought visiting his daughter was sweet and then came your end line and I made the noises at the start of the comment. Way to leave the reader hanging
😉 well done!
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Thank you so much!
AnElephant does like a little misdirection on occasion.
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Ooh, that was very scary, Really it was. Well done. I think I have to leave the lights on when I go to bed tonight….
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Oh, sorry, Lindaura, AnElephant does not mean to scare pretty ladies.
Very happy you enjoyed it.
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I hope after the immediate fright they can settle to a nice chat
very very well done!
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Can ghosties do that?
Thank you for your very very kind words.
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Shivers!!! Love it!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/friday-fictioneers-962013-bits-of-life-rated-pg13-genre-horror/
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Thanks, Scott, shivers are good!!
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Oh no! Why did she have to ask? 🙂
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Natural reaction?
Because it is a story?
Ah, well, just as long as it got a reaction!
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I hope he is a nice ghost… wind chimes are spooky sometimes.
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Well, Bjorn, he does look after his little girl, so he can’t be all bad!
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Eerie and enticing.
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Cheers, Joe, glad you liked it.
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The first sentence grabbed my attention right away, with her panic from the wind chimes — and then that ending! Chilling. I hope your broadband comes back for you. Did Daddy from the story mess with it?
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Glad you liked story, it is cool when something like that works out.
Broadband working now, new apartment, new line, fingers crossed.
Thanks for caring.
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Goosebumps 🙂 good job
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Oh, poor goose!
And thank you.
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Is this the Mistresses? Lol. I like, I like.
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AnElephant is unaware of this, he just googled it.
Glad you like, GF.
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Oh my!
Not sure how I’d react. But – I’d like to think that I’d find my composure after a loud yelp & after getting back up from passing out.
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Oh your!
Thanks for sharing, RoSy!
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Can she hear him? Can she see him? Was it his twin who died?
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Yes.
Not while he is behind her.
No.
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I was shouting, don’t look round!! Great job 🙂
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Did she hear you?
Guess we’ll never know ……
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Fabulous sir elephant, took my breath away.
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AnElephant scared an Aussie?
Wow, deeply chuffed now!
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You Scots do that to me. My grand dad was a Scot, from Glasgow.
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One of the most genuinely chilling FF stories I’ve read in a while. Good work!
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Delighted to be chilling.
Thank you.
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Don’t you fret now…anelephantcant worry about us when all your absence does is help us to appreciate you more. We will wait and wait until anelephantcan!
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Aren’t you sweet!
AnElephant is online now, trying to catch up.
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Wonderful! I don’t know whether to be happy or frightened out of my wits. I love the way this story starts out with it’s engines revved up!
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You are very kind, Linda.
Glad you enjoyed in a confused kinda way!
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Oh! That’s a ‘catch-your-breath’ ending alright! Good story. 🙂
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Glad to hear an oh!
And to see you here, mbt.
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Jeepers! I almost jumped out of my skin! Shades of Psycho here.
Well done! Genial!
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Jeepers?
Je pense que ça ne traduit pas!
Merci.
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Dear AEC,
What a great (and spooky tale). I like the wind chimes and the way the daughter is not afraid. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks, Doug, it seems Daddy is still Daddy after all.
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Ye Gads! I know to expect the unexpected with you, but that was seriously unexpected. Well done, a totally brilliant story.
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Gadzooks, old bean, thank you for kind words!
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You’re welcome old chum
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:::::hiding under the bed::::
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Hey, Roxi!
In Scotland the ghosts don’t hide under beds, they are in your face ghoulies!
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A bit creepy but nice!
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Thanks, that was the goal!
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Dear Elephant,
This one sent a chill through me. You certainly stepped outside the box. 😉 Good one.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thrilled to chill, Rochelle!
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Yay! A scary story… Reminds me of Salem’s Lot.
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A Stephen King story!
Flattered beyond words!
Thank you.
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Yikes! Is daddy a nice guy after all!?
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Hard to tell just yet.
But he cares for his little girl.
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